ALTO, N.M. -- WBO bantamweight champion Johnny Tapia is battling the enemy within and he prepares to face his next opponent in the ring.

"Depression is messing with my head," he said.

Tapia is suffering from bipolar depression, and has been hospitalized twice this summer.

"I see sadness with my wife when she looks at me, and I don't like that," said Tapia, who also has had a history of drug problems.

Teresa Tapia said it's hard for her husband to snap out of his depression.

But his love for his wife and his boxing has pushed the illness back. He's focusing on his Oct. 7 fight against Paulie Ayala in Las Vegas, Nev.

"I've never seen Johnny so exhausted as he was when battling depression," Teresa Tapia said.

"Johnny has had to learn how to deal with it," she said. "You see someone hurting like he was, and you can't do anything about it. I was sad because I was watching him battle something and I couldn't help."

Tapia (48-1-2) is training for his rematch with Ayala (28-1) -- the only boxer who has beaten Tapia as a pro. The 12-round bout is for the vacant IBA featherweight title.

Ayala, of Fort Worth, Texas, defeated Tapia June 26, 1999, in a 12-round decision in Las Vegas and took Tapia's WBA bantamweight title.

Before the fight, Tapia overheard a phone voice message that the slaying of his mother had been solved. People were tossed out of his locker room against his wishes and his brother-in-law was arrested.

"I lost before I came out of the dressing room," Tapia said.

Tapia went on to win his WBO title and seemed on the road to a comeback.

But last June, his depression was so severe he was hospitalized for several days in Las Vegas.

He returned to his home in this southern New Mexico mountain community, and voluntarily entered a mental health treatment center two weeks later, undergoing treatment for depression.

Medication that was supposed to help him fight the illness was prescribed.

But Teresa Tapia said they never checked with boxing officials to see whether the drug was approved. If not approved, Tapia could face suspension.

"I didn't want to take it," Tapia said. "It puts you on cloud nine. It's supposed to keep you out of depression. It mellows you out to a normal level."

He said boxing keeps him alive.

"My age is kicking in," said Tapia, 33. "I've had 173 fights total. But I still train like I'm young."

"In that last fight with Ayala, I couldn't control myself worth a damn," he said. "I've changed since then. I'm under control now. I'm in a good situation, knowing I'm getting better with age."

His wife is hoping for the best.

"Johnny has always lived his life on the edge. It's a very real worry," she said.