The Magazine's Bruce Feldman spent last week at college football camps in Virginia, Maryland and Florida with Michael Vick's brother, Marcus. But while Bruce was tailing the decorated prep QB from camp to camp, he also collected some pretty funny sound bites from the other campers. And so, in true Letterman fashion, ESPNMAG.com proudly presents The Top Ten Funniest Things Said To Bruce On The Summer Camp Circuit ...

10. I have a pretty good fake ID -- can you drive me to a strip club in Richmond?

9. You guys do too much on the Vicks already. Why not choose a different QB? A guy who is at least 6'3"?

8. Where's my f---in' fleece?

7. Does Answer Guy actually exist? (Yes.)

6. How come they didn't send Dan Patrick out here?

5. ESPN has a magazine? Since when? (Since you were in the ninth grade.)

4. Does this friggin' town have any places that stay open past 9 p.m.? (Apparently not ... where are those clubs in Richmond again?)

3. If Marcus gets hurt, you should switch your focus to a linebacker.

2. Shouldn't you be wearing a shirt and tie or something?

And the Number One funniest thing said to Bruce on the summer camp circuit ...

1. If I give you twenty bucks, will you mention me in your story? (Of course not. As Antwan the speedy DB from northern VA found out, we journalists have our integrity -- and our price.)

Bruce Feldman covers college football for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at bruce.feldman@espnmag.com.