Given the amount of attention swirling around the future of America's Favorite College Hoop Tout, the questions were bound to come: Is he giving his current employer its money's worth? How does he manage to focus with everything else going on? With the busy season upon us, has the uncertainty caused his work to suffer?

Sadly, closer inspection confirms the nagging suspicion that Bob Knight is not giving his all for the readers or bosses at Sandbox.com. In fact, if one of his players gave this kind of performance ... oh, the mind reels at the possibilities.

For one thing, his top 10 is in alphabetical order, and it hasn't changed in two weeks. What kind of mealy-mouthed, half-a-man copout is that?

In his conference tournament picks, Lubbock Bob lists five favorites in the Big East Tournament. Five of them. You gonna take that to Vegas?

Samples of his penetrating analysis of the nation's best teams are woefully incomplete. What would happen to the hapless scribe who approached Coach Knight with this trenchant commentary on Duke: "They seem to make the big plays when they need to make them"? UCLA "continues to make up for a slow start," according to the Reddest of Raiders, and thanks for that pearl.

It's enough to make the career counselor in you conclude that some people possess specific skill sets, suited only for a highly specialized line of work.

This Week's List

Thought for Today: Albert Belle accomplished a lot on the baseball field, and just because he did it with a frown on his face doesn't diminish the accomplishments.

Lesser men, had they fallen below the 9 percent mark, might have considered mixing in a pass: Warriors Bob Sura, Larry Hughes and Vonteego Cummings have combined to miss 51 of their last 55 3-point attempts, a persistently inefficient 7.2 percent.

Sheed's mom always said that Porter kid was a bad influence on her son: When the Spurs beat the Blazers on Thursday, Terry Porter was ejected for the first time in 1,181 games and Rasheed Wallace was ejected for the fourth time in the last 13.

Larry King line of the week, from his increasingly indispensable USA Today column: "I do enjoy appearing in films."

Especially since the Pirates pulled the Richie Hebner deal off the table: Maybe the Dodgers need to ignore Sheffield and ask the musical question, "Why was Adrian Beltre participating in light workouts even though a botched appendectomy has left him unable to eat solid food since January 12?"

Upon hearing of this, the Mets pulled out on a straight-up trade involving Joe McEwing: Gary Sheffield is now playing general manager for teams other than the Dodgers, saying the Mets should give up Jay Payton for him because "he's not a guy who's going to hit 40 homers, and I'm a guy that could hit 40 or 50."

Especially since those damned Pirates pulled the Richie Hebner deal off the table: Maybe the Dodgers need to ignore Sheffield and ask the musical question, "Why was Adrian Beltre participating in light workouts even though a botched appendectomy has left him unable to eat solid food since January 12?"

It's sort of like having Eisenhower in Europe: When you've got a problem like the Gary Sheffield situation, you can at least be consoled knowing Jim Tracy's around to handle it.

It's the time of year to trot out the words we live by: In this world there are lies, damn lies and RPI.

Then again, it's Hardware History Month on The History Channel: Next Thursday and Friday (Rounds 1 and 2, NCAA) are two of the best and most dizzying television days of the year.

The good part is, we all get treated to some of the best-looking turnovers you'd ever hope to see: College basketball has become, sadly, the home of unnecessary (between the legs, between the legs, between the legs) dribbling.

This week we are proud to introduce a surprise guest speaker, here to lecture on ethics and loyalty in the workplace: Dick Vermeil, a couple of months removed from his nasty departure from the Rams, called Elvis Grbac unethical for the way he left K.C.

According to the chart above Charles Oakley's bed, the percentage of active players just dropped to 58.6: Lamar Odom and Isaiah Rider.

It's a little-known category, but the player whose game -- indiscriminate, rapid-fire shooting -- most emulates Reggie Theus: Tony Delk.

It's a perfect fit, because he's already spent tens of thousands on a new, state-of-the-art Realistic sound system: A-Rod signed an endorsement deal with Radio Shack.

Help me out here -- NASCAR just moved to Fox, and this guy's TV show is on what network?: Jim Rome, whose hilarious riffs on NASCAR have been among the best moments on his shows, now says he has softened his stance, and he now knows why so many people love the sport.

It comes as a shock considering how staunchly Bud has fought for Lemon Laws: The Commissioner has decided no harm, no foul in the Sirotka-Wells debacle.

Keep your eyes out for a new feature: "Ask a Disgruntled Ballplayer."

This is the kind of thing you would learn if you tapped into the endless wisdom of great men such as Bob Knight and Jimmy Goldfinger: After beating Texas Tech in what everyone believes will be James Dickey's final game, Oklahoma State coach Eddie Sutton said, "If I had known we were a cinch to make the NCAA, I wouldn't have minded losing today if that would have helped him save his job."

Why you -- erudite sicko that you are -- need to check out the website for the literary magazine McSweeney's (mcsweeneys.net): Penetrating stories such as "How Important Moments in my Life Would Have Been Different if I was Shot Twice in the Stomach at Close Range."

And finally, why Texas Tech makes perfect sense: With all the folks they execute down there without thoroughly ascertaining guilt, you'd have to think a guy could get away with the occasional choke or two.

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail tim.keown@espnmag.com.