The few, the proud, the unemployed -- it's a special breed that vacations at spring training. But even a Marine packs a compass and a field guide. If you don't peruse these sites before you head out, you'll be as lost as Grandpa navigating I-75 to the dog track.

springtrainingmagazine.com
The delivery: To truly appreciate spring training, you must first learn its rich history. In his first camp ('51), Mickey Mantle got conked on the head by a fly ball while adjusting his shades.
The call: That's one thing Jose Canseco and The Mick have in common.

sportznutz.com/mlb/diary
The delivery: "Either I am drunk, or the centerfielder is talking on his cell phone while the ball is in play. Nope ... I'm drunk."
The call: The harder you quest to obtain souvenir cups from every Cactus League park, the less memorable your trip becomes. Literally.

spring-canine.com
The delivery: A Yahoo! search for "spring training" turned us on to Spring Canine Academy in Sinking Spring, Pa. "Control and management of problems such as aggression/biting, anxiety, destruction."
The call: ... paging Albert Belle.

members.tripod.com/~mrmet62/springme.htm
The delivery: " ... Dodgertown in Vero had neither roving beer vendors nor beer sales after the seventh inning."
The call: No wonder their fans always leave after six.

ceciliatan.com/spring-training.html
The delivery: "Steinbrenner looked like he was in great shape. Television really isn't flattering to him at all -- he looks much better in person."
The call: Yeah, that's TV for you: It adds 10 pounds -- and makes you look like you're destroying competitive balance.

cba.website-works.com/springt.html
The delivery: This Grapefruit League guide will keep you juiced. "Avoid last year's champs: Success breeds fans, and fans breed traffic and long queues and price increases and ticket shortages."
The call: On the other hand, you might catch a glimpse of that handsome devil Steinbrenner.