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Wednesday, May 16
 
Hey folks, why not just keep home run balls?

By Jim Caple
ESPN.com

Baseball survived The Wave. It survived that irritating beachball craze. It survived Chuck Knoblauch Appreciation Night in Minnesota. But now the game faces its gravest threat since Beanie Babies.

Fans throwing opponent home runs back onto the field.

Like many puzzling things, this fad started with the Cubs. Evidently disgusted from watching their pitchers yield home run balls, several years ago fans began tossing those same home run balls back as unsuitable for souvenirs.

Even in this offensive era, a home run ball is as precious as a two-hour game, a gift from the gods. To throw it back is an insult.

It made about as much sense as Harry Caray's play-by-play usually did by the seventh inning, but what the heck. They're Cubs fans, we've grown to expect odd behavior from them. It was their little tradition, much like never going to the World Series. And if that minor form of protest made them feel better about suffering through generations of losing baseball, well, who did it hurt?

The problem is fans everywhere decided to copy them, turning a formerly odd little custom into an annoying epidemic. In Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, Seattle's stadium and others throughout the league, fans treat enemy home runs as if they were coated with foot and mouth disease, rejecting them as surely as a new Paulie Shore movie.

It's crazy. These same fans will scramble over rows of seats, dangle from railings, push strangers to the ground, trample nuns and bite children just to get their hands on a foul ball hit by an opponent. They'll stand in line for two hours and pay $25 to have that opponent sign a 8x10 photo. Yet, they'll toss a home run back onto the field because some drunk in the next row hollers at them to do so.

Lord knows, peer pressure can be a persuasive thing (remember what you wore in high school?). A fan fully intends to bring the baseball home only to have the yahoos sitting nearby suddenly demand that the ball be tossed onto the field. The taunts build, the resistance ebbs, the fan caves in and the ball goes back onto the field to crowd's cheers.

And a couple hours later the fan who caught the ball is back at home kicking himself and trying to explain to the kids what happened to their souvenir.

The fans who encourage this obviously think they're being very clever but they're not. Tossing the ball onto the field is neither clever nor original. It's as tired as the Chicken, as old as the Baltimore roster. It's just stupid.

Even in this offensive era, a home run ball is as precious as a two-hour game, a gift from the gods. To throw it back is an insult. Do you know how many games you can sit through and never have a home run come close to you? Do you know how many home runs must be hit to you before you actually hold onto the ball instead of watching it glance off your fingertips as if you were Marv Throneberry?

If you are so lucky, so blessed, as to catch a home run ball, keep hold a grip on it as certain as a tattoo. No matter what the fools around you yell, don't even think of throwing that ball back onto the field. Cherish it as a lasting memento of the day you were on the receiving end of greatness. Don't ever let it go.

Unless, of course, Todd MacFarlane offers you a lot of money for it.

Box score line of the week
Well, there isn't much question who this week's award goes to, is there?

In just his second start of the season, Florida's A.J. Burnett pitched one of the more amazing games in recent history when he walked nine batters and hit another, threw nearly as many balls as strikes -- and still pitched a no-hitter. "I'm not going to lie to anybody," Burnett told reporters of the nine-walk no-no. "That's ridiculous."

Ridiculous but not unprecedented. Jim Maloney walked 10 batters and hit a batter in a 10-inning no-hitter in 1965. And Nolan Ryan walked eight while throwing a no-hitter in 1974 (think batters were a little nervous about stepping in against the Ryan Express that day?). But still, Burnett's performance was pretty impressive. His line:

9 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 ER, 9 BB, 9 K, 1 HBP, 1 WP

Burnett is believed to be the first major leaguer with two nipple rings to throw a no-hitter. Unless there was a side of Nolan that nobody knew about.

Lies, damn lies and statistics
Why is Texas in last place? Because Rangers owner Tom Hicks spent $252 million on a shortstop, plus $9.3 million more on a DH and third baseman, while leaving the pitching staff to rot. In losing five in a row last week, all five Rangers starting pitchers had ERAs over six -- 6.08 (Kenny Rogers), 8.16 (Darren Oliver), 7.40 (Rick Helling), 6.06 (Doug Davis) and 7.44 (Ryan Glynn). ... How easy is it to earn a save these days? Kazuhiro Sasaki earned one last Thursday despite entering a game with a five-run lead and throwing just one pitch (resulting in a game-ending double play). He's had more save opportunities with five-run leads (three) than one-run leads (two). ... After going 9-for-15 in Toronto last weekend, Ichiro has a .353 career batting average in Japan, a .340 average in the U.S. and a .600 average in Canada. ... It didn't get much attention, but in all four 20-strikeout games, the pitcher did not walk a batter. ... Alex Rodriguez reached 200 home runs at an earlier age than everybody except Mel Ott, Eddie Mathews, Jimmie Foxx and Mickey Mantle. ... Randy Johnson has a 20-strikeout game, two 19-strikeout games, a 17-strikeout game, three 16-strikeout games, 13 15-strikeout games, 11 14-strikeout games, 18 13-strikeout games, 25 12-strikeout games, 44 11-strikeout games and 36 10-strikeout games. ... Jason and Jeremy Giambi each went 2-for-3 with a run, an RBI, two walks and a strikeout last Friday.

From left field
The Twins, Phillies and Cubs each finished in last place last season but at last glance, Minnesota and Philadelphia both lead their divisions while the Cubs trail St.Louis by just 1½ games. Can they keep it up and reach the playoffs? We'll have to see but don't be surprised if one does. Turnarounds of that magnitude aren't common but they have occurred, particularly in Minnesota. A look at the 10 biggest:

Year Team The skinny
1990-91 Twins Only team to go from last-place one year to World Series champs the next
1968-69 Mets From ninth place, 89 losses to World Champions
1990-91 Braves From last place, 97 losses to Game 7 of World Series
1986-87 Twins From next-to-last, 91 losses to World Champions
1966-67 Red Sox From ninth place, 90 losses to Game 7 of World Series
1998-99 Diamondbacks From last place, 97 losses to first place, 100 wins
1996-97 Giants From last place, 94 losses to division title
1997-98 Padres From last place, 86 losses to World Series
1988-89 Orioles From season-opening 21 consecutive losses and last place finish to two games out of first
1944-45 Senators From last place, 90 losses to 1½ games out of first

Win Blake Stein's money
This week's category: Tune In, Turn On and Strike Out.

Q: Who pitched a no-hitter while on LSD?

Power rankings
1. A.J. Burnett
Marlins respond to great performance in traditional way -- they put him on the trading block.
2. Mariners
Opposing pitchers willing to pay $2 million for photo of hole in Ichiro's swing.
3. Shaquille O'Neal
Links himself to more women than Russell Crowe.
4. Twins
Lake Wobegon -- where the women are strong, the men good looking and the starting pitchers above average.
5. Phillies
Bad: Lieberthal out for year. Worse: Phanatic 100 percent healthy.
6. Alan Greenspan
Alan Greenspan
Latest plan to stimulate economy: tie interest rates to Pedro's ERA.
7. Medicinal marijuana
So much for J.R. Rider claiming he has glaucoma.
8. Expos
Fewer people at Stade Olympique than at a London Sizzler.
9. Devil Rays
Paychecks post-dated to 2006.
10. White Sox
Apparently, the Blue Jays had Dr. David Wells examine Mike Sirotka's shoulder.

A. Dock Ellis walked eight batters but no-hit the Padres on June 12, 1970. He later said he had dropped acid before the game.

Voice of summer
"He told me that if Ichiro wins the batting title, he'd run around Times Square naked. I told him he better get a tan, just in case."

-- Lou Piniella on former Nasty Boy Rob Dibble's suggestion that Ichiro might not be as good as billed.

Jim Caple is a Senior Writer for ESPN.com.







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