MLB

Scores   Schedules   Standings   Statistics   Transactions   Injuries: AL | NL   Players   Weekly Lineup   Message Board   Minor Leagues   MLB Stat Search Clubhouses

Teams Anaheim Arizona Atlanta Baltimore Boston Chi Cubs Chi W Sox Cincinnati Cleveland Colorado Detroit Florida Houston Kan City LA Milwaukee Minnesota Montreal NY Mets NY Yankees Oakland Philly Pittsburgh San Diego San Fran Seattle St. Louis Tampa Bay Texas Toronto

Sport Sections

	TODAY: Monday, May 15
	When in doubt, sneak up from behind By Jim Caple Special to ESPN.com
	Last week Frank Robinson handed out suspensions and fines to 25 players and coaches for a combined 82 games for taking part in the recent brawl between the Tigers and White Sox. Despite some complaints, this firm and swift action was entirely appropriate, necessary and welcome because this fight went far beyond the typical baseball brawl. The Tigers and White Sox didn't follow all the proper rules of a baseball fight. Most notably, players actually fought, a clear violation of the standards and etiquette of any baseball fight. However, while Robinson's rulings made it clear to players what they should not do when a fight breaks out on the field, left unclear was just what a player should do in the case of violence. Lead the pack onto the field and you face a suspension. But stay behind and you risk a loss of respect from teammates and ridicule from your opponents (as was the case Sunday when Cleveland accused Pedro Martinez of cowardice for remaining in the dugout). What's a player to do? Based on years of watching and covering baseball brawls, here is our Marquis de Grissom rules for behavior during a fight: 1. When sufficiently provoked by an opponent, look menacing and shout angry insults, like, "Your mother wears running shoes that you haven't endorsed!" and "Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see what my agent has to say about that!" 2. If tensions escalate, always remember that under no circumstances should you ever be the first player on the field. This could only lead to getting hit. Instead, nervously edge your way to the top of the dugout steps, feinting and bobbing there like the contestants used to do on "To Tell the Truth" while waiting for the real tough guy to stand up. 3. After everyone else has rushed onto the field and gotten into a big scrum near the pitcher's mound, you may join in. Make sure you get to the back of the group near as many teammates as possible, safely protected from any actual fighting and out of the view of video cameras that might later be examined by the league office. 4. If that is not possible, look for a close friend playing for the other team and pretend to wrestle him. If none are readily available, find the smallest opponent on the field and stare at him as if you really mean business. 5. If unclear of a potential adversary's intentions, anger, strength and martial arts knowledge, the best way to approach him is from behind. 6. Always keep the umpires in sight and close by so they can break things up in the rare case your opponent really wants to fight. 7. When all else fails, stand around and look menacing. 8. Don't go anywhere near Albert Belle. Just trust us on this one. 9. When the field is being cleared, look menacing and shout angry insults back at your opponents, like, "You don't have the guts to say that to my face but I bet you'll post it on your website as soon as you get back to the team hotel!" and "You don't know it, but your wife is also married to Al Martin!" 10. Finally, if your team wins the game, tell reporters after the game that the fight really sparked something in you and that fights can be a good thing for a team. If your team loses, say the fight upset your momentum and took your pitcher out of his rhythm and that the umpires let things get way out of control. Either way, if the reporters don't seem to be taking your comments seriously, stand around and look menacing while you say them. Box score line of the week We don't often have co-winners, but's hard not to reward the two incredible lines coming out of Houston games this year. Not to imply the strike zone was a little elusive Sunday, but Milwaukee and Houston combined to walk 24 batters -- in the first five innings. Houston scored 10 runs on five hits, including its first seven on just two hits. Houston starter Scott Elarton threw 103 pitches, two more more than Randy Johnson threw in his April 20 shutout, but didn't last long enough (4.1 innings) to qualify for the win. Milwaukee starter Everett Stull threw 92 pitches and didn't get out of the fourth inning for this co-winning gem: 3.2 IP, 1 H, 7 R, 7 ER, 9 BB, 3 K, 1 HBP Stull hit Craig Biggio, who walked three times, was hit another time and scored three runs for this co-winning line: 0 AB, 3 R, 0 H, 0 RBI And then we have Houston's Jose Lima, a 21-game-winner last year who somehow reached double-digits in runs in back-to-back starts, allowing 12 runs April 27 and another 10 Tuesday night. His combined line from the two games: 9.2 IP, 26 H, 22 R, 21 ER, 6 BB, 11 K Lira allowed as many runs April 27 as Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez have all season. Lies, damn lies and statistics How good was the Big Unit the season's first month? Johnson won as many games in April as the Tigers (six). ... New York shortstop Rey Ordonez already has more errors (six) than he made all last season. ... The Red Sox entered Wednesday with only two stolen bases. They have been caught stealing four times. The Royals, by comparison, have 30 stolen bases and have been caught only twice. ... The Mariners are averaging more fans per game (35,954) than Canada's two teams combined (33,340). The Mariners also are outdrawing Florida's two teams combined (34,957). ... Between Kevin Tapani wins, Pedro Martinez won 16 games, including the postseason. From left field Vladimir Guerrero entered Wednesday's games with twice as many home runs (eight) as strikeouts (four). He is on pace, albeit an early one, to become the sixth player to hit at least 40 home runs and also have more home runs than strikeouts. The five to have done so and the nine seasons they did it: Year Player HR SO 1929 Mel Ott 42 38 1934 Lou Gehrig 49 31 1936 Lou Gehrig 49 46 1937 Joe DiMaggio 46 37 1947 Johnny Mize 51 42 1948 Johnny Mize 40 37 1953 Ted Kluszewski 40 34 1954 Ted Kluszewski 49 35 1955 Ted Kluszewski 47 40 Barroom Jeopardy Q. What did Joe DiMaggio finish with more of, home runs or strikeouts? A. Strikeouts, but not by much. Joltin' Joe hit 361 home runs and struck out 369 times. He had more home runs than strikeouts seven times. Jim Caple is the national baseball writer for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, which has a website at www.seattle-pi.com.		ALSO SEE Pedro appealing five-game suspension AL: Pedro's punishment doesn't fit crime