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	TODAY: Monday, May 15
	Rumblings and Grumblings By Jayson Stark ESPN.com
	You'd never know it from the videotape. But it appears the most bad blood to emerge from that Tigers-White Sox donnybrook isn't between Dean Palmer and Jim Parque, or Robert Fick and his favorite South Side spectators. No, sir. The winner is: Phil Garner vs. the commish, Bud Selig. Better not invite these two to the same bratwurst barbecue. Garner was abruptly fired last year by the Brewers, who are run by Selig's daughter, Wendy Selig-Prieb. And while the commissioner has officially divorced himself from all day-to-day Brewers affairs, Garner obviously feels King Bud occasionally expresses an opinion about the Brewers over the dinner table. He has implied that the Tigers' fine for hiring him last winter, while failing to interview enough minority candidates, was more a personal slap against him than a philosophical crusade for more equitable hiring. And after Selig's emissary, Frank Robinson, handed down 54 games worth of suspensions to the Tigers for the brawl, versus only 28 for the White Sox, Garner pointed a finger squarely at the commish. He said, pointedly, that Major League Baseball was "out to get the Detroit Tigers." And when asked about Robinson's statement that these suspensions were intended to send a message, Garner replied: "To me, the message is, 'We're going to get the Detroit Tigers.' " After a personal meeting with Robinson on Friday, Garner calmed down and agreed not to appeal. But when we spoke with Selig later Friday, the commissioner was clearly steamed. "Frank Robinson made this decision by himself," Selig said. "That's the way it's going to be handled. And that's why he's there (in his new role as baseball's official disciplinarian). All I want to say about Phil Garner's statements is that they were factually incorrect, and they were very unfortunate." This storm will grow quiet now. But watch that sky for the next gathering of clouds. For now, at least, the Players Association will lay low on all of this. Union chief Don Fehr says the union is studying this new turn in player discipline -- but that's all he'll say. "Once we've had a chance to review it," Fehr said, "no one will have any doubt what our views are." Contrary to some reports, there is precedence for Robinson's ruling in this case. Just last year, Dodgers coach Rick Dempsey received the same 15-game suspension for a fight that Tigers coach Juan Samuel got for this one. Two years ago, after a big Royals-Angels melee (the Felix Martinez fight), both managers -- Tony Muser and Terry Collins -- got eight-game suspensions. And according to the commissioner's office, seven different players were suspended for eight games in the '90s, including Armando Benitez for his role in drilling Tino Martinez at Yankee Stadium in '98. But it's the volume of suspensions (16 people, 82 games) that appears unprecedented. Biggest previous sentences the commissioner's office has uncovered: the big 1984 Pascual Perez-a-thon between the Braves and Padres (seven men, 28 games) and the Felix Martinez fight (11 men, 38 games). Another upshot of this fight is that baseball finally has changed its antiquated appeals process. In the old days, no appeals were heard until a team came to New York. Now, Paul Beeston will fly to the scene to expedite appeals. About time. As long as we're on the subject of player-management tension, one prominent agent says he is so concerned about a possible labor stoppage in two years, he is already advising players to begin squirreling money away for a strike/lockout fund. Not a good sign. Many baseball people are privately concerned about the precedent set by allowing players to stay away from the ballpark last Tuesday to honor the Elian Gonzalez protest. The Marlins actually all but told their players to stay away. Then the Giants, who were in town, had virtually no choice but to tell Livan Hernandez and Bobby Estalella, who are also of Cuban descent, to do the same. As understandable as the Marlins' stance on this issue may have been, it opens the door for future stands on other political issues. One NL executive's word for that position: "precarious." One of the most surprising statistics of the year is that the Yankees -- once the kings of on-base percentage -- have drawn fewer walks than any team in baseball except the Expos. Which is a sure sign that the Yankees have drifted away from what they do best offensively. So manager Joe Torre called a team meeting Tuesday to remind them of that. Of course, at the time, the Yankees were in the middle of a five-game stretch in which their starting pitchers gave up 31 runs in 25 1/3 innings. So it was tougher to grind out at-bats when they were way behind early every night. But Torre's message was his team doesn't win with its power. It wins by putting rallies together, one walk at a time. Last Chance Dept.: The Indians have signed Brien Taylor to a minor-league deal. The Red Sox have invited Mel Rojas to work out in extended spring training in Fort Myers. The most amazing strategic decision of the year came Wednesday in St. Louis, when Tony La Russa had his No. 8 hitter (Mike Matheny) sacrifice to bring up pitcher Rick Ankiel -- who homered, naturally. "You don't see that much," La Russa said. "But that won't be the last time that happens." Ankiel already has hit two home runs -- most by a rookie pitcher since Kerry Wood hit two in '98. Last rookie pitcher to hit more than that was Walt Terrell, who went deep three times for the '83 Mets. Wild pitches Box score line of the week (first prize) Enron Field fan Jose Lima became the sixth pitcher since 1977 to allow 12 earned runs in one game, with this Tylenol-inducing performance Thursday against the Cubs: 5 IP, 13 H, 12 R, 12 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 1 WP, 5 HR, 9 extra-base hits. Along the way, Lima joined Catfish Hunter and John Smoltz as the only pitchers in history to give up four home runs in the first inning. But at least he won our box-score-line postgame-quotes of the month award. "I stunk," he said. "I should kick my own butt. ... I wanted to shoot myself." Box score line of the week (runner-up) One box-score line a week used to be enough. But not these days. Cubs pitcher Kevin Tapani put up this scary line April 23 against the Mets, on the way to his 12th straight loss: 3 2/3 IP, 11 H, 10 R, 9 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, 3 HR, 87 pitches to get 10 outs. Heading into the weekend, Pedro Martinez has 16 wins since Tapani's last win. And those nine earned runs were one fewer than Pedro and Randy Johnson had allowed put together -- all season. Box score line of the week (hitters division) You won't see many like this Alex Rodriguez line last weekend: 0 AB, 2 R, 0 H, 0 RBIs -- and five walks. "If they walk me five times every day, we're going to be all right," Rodriguez said. Box score line of the week (farmhand division) Down there in the California League, Eric Thompson of the Visalia Oaks had this nightmare last Sunday in a 24-9 loss to the Lancaster Jethawks: 1 1/3 IP, 11 H, 14 R, 14 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, 3 HR. Visalia gave up nine runs in the first inning and nine in the second. And the only Visalia pitcher who wasn't scored on was utility infielder Monty Davis (1 2/3 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K). Just another zany night in the California League. Trotters of the week It's quite an experience taking on the Cardinals these days. They ripped off the biggest home-run month by a National League team playing at sea level (i.e., not Denver) since 1947. They homered in every game for three weeks. And they had 16 homers in April by players who don't even start every day. "They ought to have one of those AstroTurf mats at home plate like they have at the driving ranges," said Rockies coach-witticist Rich Donnelly after his team's visit to St. Louis. "And they need one of those guys driving around in a cart, picking up the balls." Bag job of the week Think it's easy managing the Phillies? As part of a charity event, Terry Francona bagged groceries for an hour at a local grocery store last week. So it was just a matter of time until one happy shopper suggested: "You ought to do this for a living." But those Phillies still look good on paper -- or plastic. Switcheroo of the week Bernie Williams and Jorge Posada became the first set of teammates ever to switch-hit homers from both sides of the plate in the same game last Sunday. But Posada had the hard part, because Williams did it first. After Williams finished his double-dip, he told Posada, "Now you've got to hit one." So Posada did, crossed the plate and said to Williams: "Yo tambien." (That's "me, too" in switch-hit language.) Bugaboo of the week The good news for the Red Sox once they got to Texas last week was that it wasn't raining, so they actually got to play a few baseball games (after four straight rainouts back east). The bad news was, it was apparently Moth Night in Arlington, because there were moths everywhere. "We've had floods and now locusts," said Nomar Garciaparra. "What's next -- fire?" Travel agent of the week Thanks to all those rainouts in Boston, the Indians are looking at a gruesome stretch of 22 games in 20 days in September. So team innovator Omar Vizquel is already studying his damage-control options for lack of quality September family time. "We'd have to put a cruise together for the wives," he said. "I'm working on one right now." Uniforms of the week The Mets and Reds played a game Tuesday wearing wool-blend uniforms from their 1973 playoff series. But they sure don't make uniforms like that anymore. Robin Ventura slid into second and ripped the whole back side of his pants. So when the inning ended, Junior Griffey made sure to jog by and say, "Nice pants." No truth to the rumor they called this one Turn Back the Uniforms Night. Marketing idea of the week Speaking of great gimmicks, always-creative Detroit closer Todd Jones had the perfect idea for drawing fans to Comerica Park for the weekend Tigers-White Sox rematch. "If we get in a fight, get in free the next game," Jones told Booth Newspapers' Danny Knobler. "That would be a good promotion." We'll forward that idea to Frank Robinson immediately. Quote of the week After watching his team get swept by the Dodgers last weekend, get outscored 36-7, give up its most runs in a three-game stretch in 19 years and cap it all off with an eight-run inning that included two errors, one passed ball and a wild pitch, Reds manager Jack McKeon reviewed his outfit's work this way: "We looked like a bunch of Barefoot Bears." Jayson Stark is a senior writer at ESPN.com. Rumblings and Grumblings will appear each Saturday.		ALSO SEE Stark: Week in Review Stark: Home runs here to stay