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Tuesday, June 20

Pilots end long winless streak!

By Jayson Stark
ESPN.com

It should have been the biggest story in sports. The Seattle Pilots won a baseball game last weekend. It was their first win in 30 years, eight months and nine days. And even the Los Angeles Clippers would call that a serious drought.

OK, so it wasn't really the Seattle Pilots who beat the Twins 5-3 in the Metrodome last Saturday. It was really their descendants, those sneaky Milwaukee Brewers, wearing the uniforms of the '69 Pilots on a very special Turn Back the Clock Night.

	Triviality
	Only two players have had at least 35 homers and 100 RBI in every season since the strike (i.e, 1995-99). Name them. (Answer at bottom)

But it was still the first time any team wearing the uniform of the legendary Pilots had won a game since Oct. 1, 1969. And that was so long ago, the starting pitcher against them that day was Rollie Fingers. So this latest triumph was still a major event to us history majors back here in the next millennium.

Asked by Week in Review to express his reaction to the Pilots' first win in 30 years and eight months, the ultimate Seattle Pilot, pitcher-author Jim Bouton (writes right, throws right) was less stunned than you might expect.

"Considering how we were playing," Bouton said, "that's not surprising. If somebody had told me back then it would be 30 years before we won another game, I'd have said, 'Uh-huh. OK. Who's pitching?' "

And the correct answer would have been ... Jimmy Haynes, one of 21 players in this game who hadn't been born yet the last time the Pilots won. But that's their loss, because the Pilots weren't just a baseball team. They were a sitcom.

Literally. Bouton made them the centerpiece of his brilliant, life-altering book, "Ball Four." That later was turned into a short-lived TV show. And now, as we celebrate the 30th anniversary of "Ball Four," the Pilots march on. They're just a little hurt they weren't invited back to watch their first win since the Nixon administration.

"The Brewers don't acknowledge that we ever existed," Bouton said. "When do they ever have Seattle Pilots Old Timers Day at County Stadium? They never have honored us, and they're never going to honor us. And now they go and wear our uniforms and tarnish our name. They won, right? That tarnishes our name right there. They're going to ruin our reputation."

Last game in Pilots' history

When the Seattle Pilots left Arizona at end of spring training in 1970, the team didn't whether it was heading to Seattle or Milwaukee. When the plane turned east, the team became the Brewers, with a new owner named Bud Selig.

Thus, when the Pilots played their final game on October 2, 1969, nobody knew it would be the final game in Pilots' history. Before a sparse crowd of 5,473 fans at Seattle's Sick's Stadium, the Oakland A's beat the Pilots 3-1 as Jim Roland pitched a complete game victory.

Complete box score

The day before, the Pilots beat the A's 4-3 for the final win in franchise history. Tommy Harper singled in Steve Whitaker in the bottom of the ninth with the winning run.

Complete box score

Yeah, it could be decades before they lose again now. But once the memory of this flukey Turn Back the Clock triumph fades, nothing will alter the reputation of a team that went 64-98, finished 33 games out of first place, hit .234 as a team and had an incredible 34 different players hit .235 or under. You can relive the glory of that season on the classic web site, www.seattlepilots.com, a site which actually features links to every box score in Pilots history. Asked if Saturday's box score would now be added to that classy database, Bouton seemed truly offended.

"I would hardly think so," he said. "These guys were the Milwaukee Brewers. We were the real Pilots. We should get royalties, having guys masquerading as the Seattle Pilots. ... Was anybody there to say, 'Pound the old Budweiser?' How could they have taken the field without their rallying cry?"

Yes, there was no Joe (Pound the Budweiser) Schultz in the manager's office to inspire these Seattle Pilots by invoking the name of his favorite glowing beverage. And Greg Goossen, Steve Hovley and Ray Oyler weren't around for this historic occasion, either.

"And the salary of the average fake Seattle Pilot was more than the entire roster of the real Pilots," said Bouton, whose best guess is that the '69 Pilots' payroll was under $500,000. "We could file a grievance. In fact, we did file grievances. We filed them on a daily basis. We filed grievances like: 'When are we going to get hot water in the shower room?' And `Why do we have to wear these caps?' "

But all that just led to the whole team bolting for Milwaukee after the season. And to Schultz getting fired. And to Bouton looking for a good typewriter to immortalize it all -- a development that worked out so well that the millennium edition of "Ball Four" is just about to roll off the presses, complete with yet the latest update on Bouton and the legacy of this one-of-a-kind franchise.

Yet as we watched the guys in those Pilots suits cavort around the field last Saturday -- as Marquis Grissom worked on his home run trot and four Brewers pitchers somehow made it through an entire game without a walk and balls clanked off those pesky Metrodome speakers -- we were filled with a sense of sadness.

What a tragedy that these Pilots never got to fulfill their destiny. That they never got to play on in search of better days. That they never even got to play in the Metrodome -- which clearly was their kind of place.

"If we'd ever played in the Metrodome," Bouton mused, "we would have walked in and said, 'We can lose here.' One thing about us: We had the ability to lose in almost any venue."

Transaction of the week
We now present the greatest item in the history of our favorite part of any newspaper -- the one, the only Transactions column. It clanked out there over the wires Monday. And it looked kind of like this:

NEW YORK METS -- Sent pitcher Bobby Jones to Norfolk. Recalled pitcher Bobby Jones from Norfolk.

Tremendous.


	Bobby Jones


	Bobby Jones

Now since we pay attention, we know these were really two different pitchers. And the Mets, obviously, knew these were two different pitchers. But not everybody in the world knew these were two different people. And that made this, in our esteemed opinion, the greatest name-game event ever recorded.

It surpasses the day in '98 when these two Bobby Joneses actually pitched against each other. It even surpasses those two Moutons platooning in Milwaukee, with their hopefully forthcoming marketing brainstorm, Moutons' Croutons.

Yes, sir. Bobby Jones up. Bobby Jones down. We defy any transaction ever to top that.

"Anybody looking at that 30 years from now is going to go, 'That's got to be a misprint,' " said Chris Leible, an agent/publicist who formerly spent 10 years working for the Mets. "And the irony is that these two guys couldn't be more different. One's from California. One's from New Jersey. One's black. One's white. One's left-handed. One's right-handed."

But that sure doesn't help when you squish their names into the same transaction. So let's further explore the crazy ramifications of this fabulous event.

Traveling Jones
After a team makes any roster move, of course, travel plans have to be made. The Mets were about to embark on a trip to Chicago. So the hotel had to be notified.

"I told Charlie Samuels (the Mets' longtime equipment manager and associate travel director), 'Hey, you'll have to change the reservation,' " Mets media relations director Jay Horwitz reported. "He said, 'No, I don't. It's just Bobby Jones for Bobby Jones. I don't have to change a thing.' "

Ah, but the airplane portion of this exchange was another story.

"I had to call our travel agent to make the plane reservations," Horwitz said. "So I said, 'OK, I've got to fly Bobby Jones from Kennedy to Norfolk on Tuesday. And I'd like him to leave at 2 o'clock. And the same day, I've got to fly Bobby Jones from Norfolk to Chicago. And I'd like him to leave in the morning.' And the guy said, 'Wait. You just flew him from Kennedy to Norfolk.' And I said, 'No, it's two different Bobby Joneses.' "

Media Jones
Then, naturally, the media had to be notified. And most of the media knew the deal. But not everybody.

"I called one of the TV stations," Horwitz said, "and I got one guy who I guess didn't know the story. I told him what we were doing. And he said, 'Let me get this straight. You're sending Bobby Jones down and you're bringing Bobby Jones up?' And I said, 'That's right. And in two weeks, we'll probably bring Bobby Jones back up and send Bobby Jones back down.' I felt like Abbott and Costello, doing 'Who's on First?' "

Historic Jones
But if these two Bobby Joneses can ever find a way to get onto the Mets' roster at the same time, they'll make even more history. According to Bob Waterman of the Elias Sports Bureau, only twice before since 1900 have two unrelated players who were called by the same name wound up as teammates. Bob Miller and his good friend, Bob Miller, both pitched for the '62 Mets, while the '49 Reds featured catcher Dixie Howell -- and pitcher Dixie Howell.

So we tracked down Bob G. Miller, who we're pretty sure was the left-handed Bob Miller in that tandem, to see if he had any advice for these two Bobby Joneses on how they could avoid confusion -- or, at the very least, make some money off that confusion.

"We did TV shows together," Miller said. "We once did that show, 'To Tell the Truth.' And when they said, 'Will the real Bob Miller please stand up?' we both stood up. It was the first time that ever happened in the history of the show. People laughed so hard, it stopped the whole show. One of the panelists literally fell down backwards in his chair, he was laughing so hard."

The chaos these two guys created was, naturally, aided and abetted by the master of doubletalk, Casey Stengel, who insisted on calling the left-handed Bob Miller, for no discernible reason, "Nelson."

"The P.A. man used to announce, 'Now pitching for New York, the left-handed Bob Miller,' " Miller said. "Or: 'Now pitching for New York, the right-handed Bob Miller.' So that helped clear things up -- except Casey kept calling the bullpen, asking for Nelson."

The road also was filled with complications. So eventually, the two Bob Millers decided to room with each other -- because it was the only way they could be sure of getting their phone calls.

"We had to," Miller said, "because when the calls came to the hotel, they'd ask for Bob Miller. 'Which one?' 'The player with the Mets.' 'Which one?' 'The pitcher.' 'Which one?' So to end the confusion, we just roomed together."

Asked if he had any advice for the two Bobby Joneses, Miller said: "The only thing I can think of is what I used to tell the other Bob Miller. I'd say, 'C'mon. Win the ballgame -- because I don't want anyone to think I'm the one who got knocked out of the box.' "

Or, in this case, sent to Norfolk.

Golfing Jones
But in all confusion, there is company. So if these two Bobby Joneses are looking for a way to feel better about this whole mess, they can always haul out their golf clubs -- and head for the Bobby Jones Open.

This is an actual annual golf tournament featuring 80 golfers, all of whom are either named Bobby Jones or are the guest of someone named Bobby Jones.

It began in 1979, when a guy from Michigan named (you guessed it) Bobby Jones said to his wife one day: "We should have a Bobby Jones golf tournament."

"So I got out the White Pages," said the founder, "Computer Bob" Jones. "And I called a bunch of guys. And I found four other Bobby Joneses who agreed to play."

The next year, they were up to 17 Bobby Joneses, then 37, then 65. And now it's an annual tradition. This year's tournament, by the way, will be held in suburban Detroit, July 13-14-15. And if you're named Bobby Jones, just e-mail Computer Bob at BJOcompbob@aol.com, and you, too, can be golfing with the Joneses.

These Bobby Joneses of the links clear up their confusion by assigning nicknames to all the assorted Bobby Joneses. But they, too, have learned to have their fun.

"A couple of years ago, we had a television crew come to the hotel," said Computer Bob. "We fixed it up so the guy would page Bobby Jones. And about 30 people converged on the front desk."

Until these two Bobby Joneses came along, that Bobby Jones Open was probably the greatest multi-Bobby-Jones event ever witnessed. But now that the two pitching Bobby Joneses have passed them by with their frozen moment in transaction-column time, we asked Computer Bob Jones if these two guys might become the guests of honor at some future Bobby Jones Open.

"We'd be glad to do that," he said. "All they have to do is pay their own way -- and they can afford to do that a hell of a lot better than we can."

2 o'clock game of the week
Ordinarily, it's not that unusual to find a baseball game going on at 2 o'clock. Except that when the Marlins and Phillies hooked up Monday, the 2 o'clock at which they found themselves playing happened to be 2 a.m., not 2 p.m.

It was all Mother Nature's fault, of course. They had a 59-minute rain delay before the game ever started. Then they had another 2 hours, 35 minutes of rain delays in the third inning. So that third inning didn't end until after midnight. And the game didn't end until 2:06 a.m.

Then again, it might also have been the fault of Marlins starter Brad Penny. Three of his last four starts now have been cut short by waterfalls pouring out of the sky. So we asked Brad Penny if he was planning to purchase his own Doppler radar.

"That's probably a good idea," he said.

But we try to look on the bright side of these debacles. And the bright side, from Week in Review's perspective, is this: It isn't every week we get to describe the electrifying atmosphere that envelopes a ballyard at 2 a.m. So we asked several of the participants if there was a word that would describe the atmosphere of Philadelphia's heavily unpopulated Veterans Stadium at that hour.

Fourth prize: From Marlins outfielder Cliff Floyd. His word of the hour: "Dreadful."

"Think about it, man," Floyd said. "We have a routine we get into every day. And at 2 a.m., that's when you're supposed to be back at the hotel, chilling. Instead, we're at the park.

"We went in and there's a whole room full of food. By the time we went back out there, I weighed 400 pounds. Then you've got to go out and play a game? Come on, man."

Before we resume our search for the word of the day, we pause for this report from Floyd on what he ate during that 155-minute rain delay. "I think they should close that kitchen and lock it," Floyd said. "I know for sure that by the time that rain delay was over, they had to restock it. I had five packs of Nutter Butters, three or four bags of chips, a pizza, a Philly steak sandwich and a couple of Kit Kats. And I was feeling mighty gross after that."

Luckily for him, he had a sore knee, and he didn't have to test the limits of that grossness by actually playing. But now back to our word game.

Third prize: From Phillies shortstop Desi Relaford. His atmospheric word: "How about 'nonexistent?' The atmosphere didn't exist. It was kind of Arizona Fall League-ish, kind of rookie ball-ish. There were four people in the stands, and we were getting booed by people that work for us. That's not good."

Second prize: From Phillies catcher Mike Lieberthal. His word: "Slow-motion. Is that one word? Well, that's what it seemed like. It was like a dream. At one point, I took a third strike from a left-hander, took a 2-2 fastball, and after it went by, I said, 'Hey, that's strike three.' That's how I felt. It didn't seem like we were really out there."

First prize: And to best describe that feeling, we present the only Phillie who actually got a hit (a pinch home run yet) between midnight and 2:06 a.m., center fielder Doug Glanville: "I'm between two words -- 'delirium' and 'comatose.' I know. It was comatose delirium. It was almost like you're falling asleep, thinking you're in bed. Then you realize you're in the insane asylum."

Asked if he could recall the last time he hit a home run at 1 a.m., Glanville said: "It must have been in Strat-o-matic or something." But now that he's hit one in real life, we figure if anyone would be in favor of more games in that 1 a.m.-2 a.m. range, it would have to be Doug Glanville.

"I heard that in Alaska, and around the South Pole and North Pole, it stays light so long that we could start at 1 o'clock, and it would be broad daylight," he said. "So if we ever expand to the Arctic Circle, I'm a prime candidate, because I've proven I can hit at 1 o'clock."

1-2-3 inning of the week
It was an oasis in the midst of one of the ugliest box scores in Houston Astros history:

Bogar 1 0 0 0 0 0

Last Saturday in San Diego, on a night when four real Astros pitchers combined for an implosion of 13 runs, 12 hits, nine walks, a hit batter and zero 1-2-3 innings, shortstop Tim Bogar marched to the mound for the first time in his major league career and did this:

Three up. Three down. Twelve pitches. Nine strikes.

"I'm thinking," Bogar told Week in Review, "about a career change."

The two previous position players to pitch this year -- Pirates catcher Keith Osik and Mariners handyman John Mabry -- had a scary little 37.72 ERA (seven runs, 1 2/3 innings). And 11 consecutive mystery pitchers had gone to the mound over the previous two years without twirling one of those rarified 1-2-3 innings. (Last man to achieve that perfection: Lenny Harris, for the Reds in San Francisco, on June 1, 1998). So a big hand, ladies and gentlemen, for Tim Bogar.

"Well," Bogar said, "everybody's been telling me I've been hitting like a pitcher -- so I might as well pitch like one."

Actually, Bogar had pitched three times in the minor leagues, plus another inning in a Mets exhibition game against their Triple-A team in which he played all nine positions. So he wasn't completely new to this line of work.

"But my ERA in the minor leagues was like 27.00, so I'm improving," Bogar said. "Think the Northern League would take me next year?"

Heck, if he can throw more 1-2-3 innings, the Yankees might take him. Bogar was clocked as high as 87 mph in this game -- and he wasn't even trying to throw hard, he said. Asked if he ever turned to look at the ballpark radar-gun readings, he replied: "Yeah. Every pitch. In fact, Baggie (Jeff Bagwell) told me, 'You're tipping your pitches -- and stop looking at the speed gun.' "

But Bogar had more than just sheer velocity going for him. He had a tutor. Right after manager Larry Dierker told him he was going to pitch the eighth inning, Bogar turned to Chris Holt and said: "All right. You've got to show me how to throw a sinker. I've gotta have something to throw up there." So Holt showed him how to make the ball sink by putting his thumb off to one side -- and boom, he was a regular Mike Hampton.

"I guess I'm a quick learner," he said.

It was such a memorable event that Bogar said he's saving a copy of the video for his "archives."

Uh, his archives? How much stuff would a guy have to collect to have his own archives, anyway?

"Well, it's not very big," Bogar said. "I hit an inside-the-park homer once, and I've got a tape of that in there. But that's about it until now -- one tape. I figure one's a library. Two's an archive. I don't know where I go from there."

From there? Maybe back to the mound. If he keeps this up, he could have a regular Tim Bogar Museum.

Ex-zero heroes of the week
It was one of those perfect convergences of men and moment. It was one of those great baseball afternoons where normalcy gets thrown into a Cuisinart and two players mysteriously reverse their usual roles in life.


	Big Mac has now homered in 37 different ballparks -- but has added speed to his game as well.

In Detroit last Saturday, Mark McGwire stole a base -- for the first time since Aug. 20, 1998 (106 homers ago). Meanwhile in Tampa Bay, Marlins sprint champ Luis Castillo hit a home run -- for the first time since Aug. 9, 1998 (787 at-bats ago). Not to imply it had been a while since we'd seen those sights before, but ...

ESPN research genius Jeff Bennett calculated that Castillo had stolen 79 bases since Big Mac's last steal.

But McGwire had pounded 110 home runs since Castillo's last homer.

Meanwhile, Stats Inc.'s David Pinto figured that in that period from Aug. 20, 1998 until last Saturday -- the period spanning McGwire's lack of stolen bases -- all the other players out there had swiped 5,290.

On the other hand, from Aug. 9, 1998 to Saturday -- the period in which Castillo was hitting no homers -- everyone else was hitting a mere 9,360 of them.

So how did all this happen? Well, McGwire was just running on a 3-2 pitch to Thomas Howard. But Howard collaborated nicely by whiffing. And McGwire steamed into second, under a high throw from Brad Ausmus -- who led all big-league catchers in throwing out basestealers (60.3 percent) at the time. And the pitcher he stole against, Brian Moehler, hadn't allowed a steal all year before that.

Asked afterward if he had any messages for Ausmus, McGwire said: "Tell him I beat his best bolt. My speed is deceiving. I could steal 10 or 20 bases easy if they'd just let me run."

So the next time McGwire came to the plate, what did Ausmus say? "I told him, 'You look faster,' " Ausmus reported.

But a thousand miles away, Castillo wasn't so impressed. "When I saw on ESPN that he stole a base, I said, 'I can do that,' " Castillo told Week in Review.

Hey, no kidding. But the big story was that, at the time, Castillo actually had more home runs in June than the Mac Man (1-0). You could look it up. That trend didn't last long. But it was enough to get us to ask Castillo if he thought he could catch McGwire in the home run race now that he's got this down.

"No one can catch him," he replied.

So we asked if McGwire could catch him in steals.

"What," said Castillo, who is second in the NL to Tom Goodwin, "do you think?"

What we think is that this game makes no sense sometimes. Ever noticed that?

"People always see stuff like that and say, 'Can you believe it?' " chuckled Castillo's teammate, Cliff Floyd. "And know what I say? I say, 'Yeah, I can believe it -- because this game's WEIRD.' "

Wild pitches
Box score line of the week
Only three previous times in 14 seasons have we witnessed a Roger Clemens box score line that had a "9" in the runs column. So working on the theory that they're all historic, here's his fourth, from his June 9 start against the hated Mets: 5 IP, 10 H, 9 R, 8 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, 2 HR, 1 balk, 127 pitches to get through five innings. Clemens' other nine-run lines: 5 IP, 9 R, 9 ER (May 18, 1998), 6.2 IP, 9 R, 6 ER (April 22, 1998) and 5 IP, 13 H, 9 R, 9 ER, (May 18, 1991).

McGwire-ama of the week
Mark McGwire came to Detroit last weekend having never homered in Comerica Park. Of course, he had never played there before.

But Mac soon added a new notch to his belt. First, the King of Swing crunched an awesome batting-practice homer before Game 1 of the series that actually cleared the distant Al Kaline statue. "I didn't move at all on that one," Kaline quipped.

Later that night, McGwire just missed ending his drought for real with a monster drive that landed barely foul in left, off closer Todd Jones. Later, Jones told Booth Newspapers' Danny Knobler: "That was my game plan -- hang a curve, let him hit it 600 feet, then get him out."

But finally, on getaway day last Sunday, the Mac Man hit one out to right. Among other things, that one meant he's now hit a home run in more stadiums (37) than any player ever. Asked by the St. Louis Post Dispatch's Rick Hummel if he's looking forward to breaking his own record by homering in more new parks next season, he quipped: "I've thought about it long and hard. It's my No. 1 goal to accomplish in baseball. If they build some new ones while I'm coaching, I'm going in there for BP."

Stall ball of the week
A few weeks ago, we complained about the absurdity of baseball's rainout rules. And one of our gripes was that they promote stalling. Obviously inspired by that column, the Mariners and Royals provided a perfect demonstration of our point Tuesday.

The Mariners took a 6-0 lead into the top of the fifth, with dark clouds hovering and thunder and lightning crackling off in the distance. Since the game wasn't official, the Royals went into their best four-corners attack, complete with pitchers not heading for the mound to warm up and other assorted tricks. Meanwhile, the Mariners retaliated by trying to swing at every pitch.

They eventually made three outs on just six pitches to zip through the fifth. The rain then held off until the sixth. And Seattle won 7-0. "I've never played baseball with a shot clock," said Alex Rodriguez.

Debut of the week
Pirates pitcher Bronson Arroyo made one of the most unusual big-league entrances ever Monday. Instead of getting into his first box score as a pitcher, he debuted as a pinch-hitter against the Braves (and grounded out). Stats Inc.'s David Pinto reports he was just the second pitcher in Stats' 14-season history to start his career that way. The other: Mets pitcher Joe Crawford, on April 7, 1997.

It was fun. It just wasn't quite what Arroyo had in mind. But the airline lost his luggage. He arrived at the park an hour before game time. And fellow pitcher Jimmy Anderson told him not to bother putting on his spikes because the Pirates hadn't used a pitcher to pinch-hit all year. So naturally, in the sixth inning, manager Gene Lamont told him to grab a bat, because they were down a hitter with Pat Meares hurting (bruised shin).

"So I wound up making my first major-league appearance in tennis shoes," Arroyo told the Beaver County Times' John Perrotto. "How many guys have ever done that?"

We regret to announce that's not a stat compiled by any statisticians we know.

Double trouble of the week
Speaking of pitchers at the plate, the best offensive debut of the week by a pitcher was turned in by Seattle's Paul Abbott last Saturday. He bragged to his teammates all week about hitting cleanup in high school. Then he doubled in his first big-league at-bat, off Shawn Estes.

He later went on to beat the Giants 5-2, allowing four hits and one run in 7 2/3 innings. But when the press gathered around him afterward, Abbott announced: "I want to talk about my hitting."

As those hitting coaches often say, you have to take advantage of your opportunities.

Oh-no no-no of the week
No pitcher has thrown a no-hitter without recording at least one strikeout since Ken Holtzman pulled off that trick for the Cubs on Aug. 19, 1969. But Marlins junkballer Reid Cornelius made a run at it last Saturday in Tampa Bay. He made it through six no-hit innings -- with zero strikeouts -- before winding up with a three-hitter over eight innings. It was only his sixth big-league start since 1995.

"This one," said manager John Boles, "earned him another three starts."

Jimy Williams quote of the week
In two crazy weeks, the Red Sox bounced from Philadelphia to Florida to Boston (for a one-day makeup-game homestand) to Atlanta to New York, playing 13 games in 13 days five cities. Asked if he could sum up that trip in one word, manager Jimy Williams proved once again his mind works differently than just about anyone else's.

"Pillows," he said. "We saw a lot of different pillows."

Rain man of the week
Robin Ventura may have gone just 1-for-9 against the Yankees last weekend. But he still might have gotten more air time than any other Met -- just for doing that sensational Mike Piazza imitation in the rain Sunday.

Ventura didn't miss a Piazza-ism, drawing in a perfect mustache, stuffing towels under his shirt to simulate Piazza's ample chest and doing a dead-on take of Piazza's walk, stance and running style. Asked how he got Piazza down so well, Ventura said: "I've been taking notes for a year and a half."

Piazza's review: "That's probably the fastest he's run all year. He puts on my jersey. He gets my speed."

Epidemic of the week
We never knew no-hitters were contagious. But Howe Sportsdata reports that the West Michigan Whitecaps of the Midwest League just became the first minor-league team since 1994 to throw two no-hitters in a week. Left-hander Tommy Marx pitched one Saturday. Then right-hander Calvin Chipperfield threw a seven-inning no-hitter during a doubleheader Tuesday.

Of the two, Marx's no-hitter was the most harrowing. He walked six overall, including two hitters each in the second and sixth innings. Both times, manager Bruce Fields sent pitching coach Joe Georger to the mound.

"I told him after the second (visit): 'Next time, I'm coming out. And I'm filling the mound with uppercuts,' " Fields said.

Trivia answer
Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa.

Jayson Stark is a senior writer at ESPN.com.

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