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Wednesday, April 11 Hey Michael, get the band back together! By Frank Hughes Special to ESPN.com |
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Screw the rules changes. I've got a better idea.
You want dramatic changes? Increased attendance? More scoring? A hook, as they say in the music industry? Here it is: Bring back the Dream Team. No, not Dream Team XXXV, as misnomered as Friday the 13th Part 157; nothing will ever be as good as that first Freddie Krueger. But the original Dream Team, the one that captured our imaginations, the one that combined the talents of some of the greatest basketball players of all-time, the one that put rock bands to shame because they were, at the time, bigger than The Beatles. You could rattle them off, one name only, like John, Paul, George and Ringo: Michael, Magic, Larry, Patrick, David, Charles, Stock, Scottie, Karl, Clyde, Mully and Christian. And you know what? It's possible. You could get the entire team together, with the exception of two players. Unfortunately, you would have to call them the Washington Wizards, but if enough people kept calling them the Dream Team, it would eventually catch on and that little obstruction could be eliminated. OK, here's the deal. Michael is practicing. (Even on something as big as the Dream Team, we can call him Michael and everybody still knows who he is.) According to everybody who has either a source, a hope or an idea, Michael is coming back. Why, I still don't know. But that is not the point. Do you really think Michael wants to come back and play with Laron Profit and Tyrone Nesby and Courtney Alexander, who all are nice players in their own neighborhoods, I'm sure, but not exactly worthy of being on the court with Michael when he makes his un-un-retirement? So here's the deal: The Wizards, because of the magnanimous general managing of former Wizards, er Dream Team, executives, have no money under the salary cap this summer. But that's even better, because it eliminates any petty jealousies or mongering for money.
So just offer the veteran minimums: $1 million each for Michael, Patrick Ewing, David Robinson, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Christian Laettner, John Stockton, Charles Barkley, Clyde Drexler and Chris Mullin. The only two players who could not be signed are Karl Malone and Scottie Pippen, because they are currently under contracts to the Utah Jazz and Portland Trail Blazers, respectively -- though the way the Blazers are going lately, Pippen might be very acquirable, if you know what I mean. It's perfect: In this great twist of fate, Ewing, Robinson, Stockton and Mullin all become free agents this summer. Michael, Magic, Clyde and Larry are retired, and the only one who would need a little prodding to put back on a uniform -- albeit several sizes larger -- is Bird, fat and happy on his Florida estate, wrestling alligators and figuring out a way to come up with $300 million to purchase the Celtics. In perhaps the best twist of irony, Laettner already is a member of the Wizards, er Dream Team, because of the trade that sent Juwan Howard to Dallas. So, technically, the Dream Team could re-sign Laettner to however much they need to keep him -- which means that Laettner, the worst player, will make the most money. But that is actually pretty much in keeping with the way the Wizards/Bullets have run things in previous years, so why change now? I've asked a few NBA people what they thought this team would accomplish, and except for one, they said they thought it would win the NBA championship. I agree. There are two reasons. The first is addition by subtraction. There are, what, maybe six teams in the NBA right now capable of winning a championship? The Spurs, Lakers, Blazers, Jazz, Kings and, possibly, the Sixers.
You take Stockton off the Jazz and that eliminates them, and you take Robinson off the Spurs and that eliminates them. Meanwhile, the Blazers and Lakers are imploding, and the Sixers have not exactly been dominant since they traded for Dikembe Mutombo. That leaves an NBA Finals matchup of the Dream Team vs. the Kings, and that is assuming Chris Webber is back in Sacramento hunting for some soul food joints down by the Sacramento River bayou. But also, this team still has enough pure talent to win a championship outright. Say this is your starting lineup: Stockton at point guard, Michael at shooting guard, Magic at small forward, Barkley at power forward and David Robinson at center, with Bird and his bad back, Pat and his bad knees, Laettner and his bad attitude and Drexler coming off the bench. Mullin could play spot minutes, because certainly the guy can still pass and shoot. You want veteran leadership? You've got plenty of that, and doesn't every team in this league want the veteran leadership that has been so important in almost every titleholder of the past two decades? You want unselfish play? At a time when their bodies are certainly not what they once were, and the realization that this is one final, glorious shot at regaining the love, adulation and competitiveness they once took for granted, this team will be happy just to be out on the floor. Arguing about minutes and shots will be left to those younger megalomaniacs who don't have the perspective brought on by age. Hell, half the teams in the league would probably be so awe-struck by the collection of talent on the court, that would win them 50 games alone. MCI Center would be sold out every night. So would every other arena on their tour. Television attendance would be up. You thought you saw too much Lakers on Sundays, wait til you see the number of times the Dream Team is on. Dick Ebersol would probably lobby David Stern to see if the Dream Team could play in ALL three games of their Sunday tripleheader. Not only would they win a championship, they would serve as ambassadors for the game, showing the younger teams and the younger generations in the country the right way to play basketball, the respectful way to conduct yourself on a basketball court. And then, when history is re-written, when that year to remember is complete, when Michael gets his seventh ring and Magic gets his sixth and Larry gets his fourth and Robinson and Drexler get their second and Charles and Patrick and Stock and Mully and Laettner all get their first to make their careers complete, the Wizards fans can go back to watching Laron Profit and Tyrone Nesby.
Frank Hughes covers the NBA for the Tacoma (Wash.) News-Tribune. He is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.
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