Try the official Harley Davidson website -- more specifically, an article on the birth of a combustible American institution which proudly celebrates it's 100th anniversary this year.
Of course, you can also describe the Yankees as 100 year old and highly combustible. And as far American institutions go, what's more patriotic than celebrating the chompin' wieners in the house that Ruth built? Nothing … unless your chompin' road kill jerky and ripping down the freeway astride American steel. The New York Yankees and Harley Davidson, 100 years young. It's about time we see how they stack up in the Tale of the Tape …
| New York Yankees vs. Harley Davidson |
| Category |
|
New York Yankees |
|
Harley Davidson |
|
Advantage |
| How to get your wife involved: |
|
"So that's Derek Jeter …" |
|
"Wow, this seat is purring like a jungle cat …" |
|
Harley |
| We have them to thank for: |
|
The luxury tax |
|
Fat guys wearing black leather chaps |
|
Yankees |
| Babes: |
|
The greatest Yankee of all |
|
The kind of gal you meet, marry and divorce, all in one day at the Sturgis Rally |
|
Harley |
| H.O.G.: |
|
David Wells |
|
A registered trademark |
|
Harley |
| Everyone is sick of seeing: |
|
Buying your best free agents up and batting them eighth |
|
Driving the lane divider to creep past you at a red light |
|
Yankees |
| Proof that you can never have enough: |
|
Pitching |
|
Thunder between your legs |
|
Harley |
| Sad: |
|
Mattingly retires one year before a championship |
|
A biker gang consisting of six middle-aged couples |
|
Yankees |
| Cautionary tales: |
|
Ed Whitson |
|
Gary Busey |
|
Yankees |
| Saddle bags: |
|
Don Zimmer's jowls |
|
Where you keep your gun |
|
Yankees |
| Acts of treason: |
|
Matsui riding a Suzuki |
|
Mixing a Yankee cap with a confederate flag vest |
|
Push |
| Uh-oh: |
|
Steinbrenner just hacked into Torre's Blackberry |
|
You just ate a bug at 90 MPH |
|
Harley |
| Yes!: |
|
Gouging cable subscribers since 2002 |
|
Paying stock dividends for over a decade |
|
Harley |
| Could end the ride: |
|
Revenue sharing |
|
Oil cartels |
|
Push |
| Expensive rivals that can't compete: |
|
The Mets |
|
The Segway |
|
Push |
| Guzzlers: |
|
The Mick |
|
The Fatboy |
|
Yankees |
| Happiness is ... : |
|
A $300 million payroll |
|
A warm 'taint |
|
Hmmm, let's move on, shall we? |
| Possible side effects: |
|
Dynastic numbness |
|
Gravel pants |
|
Yankees |
| A great excuse to sell ... : |
|
Beer |
|
Skin grafts |
|
Yankees |
| Still trying to live down ... : |
|
"Ball Four" |
|
Men in bandanas, or, as I like to call them, "mandanas" |
|
Yankees |
| Don't judge them all by: |
|
Joe Pepitone at Sing Sing |
|
The Hell's Angels at Altamont |
|
Harley |
| 100 years ago: |
|
The Bronx was a nice neighborhood |
|
Your head was your helmet |
|
Yankees |
| Looking into the crystal ball: |
|
"Ladies and gentlemen, your New Jersey Yankees!" |
|
Autosuck technology linked to highway "mishaps" |
|
Harley -- what a way to go. |
So there you have it. It's all so simple when you break things down scientifically. In a centennial squeaker, the advantage goes to the Yankees, and a 200th anniversary rematch looks even less competitive: Harley will be too busy scrambling to find a new fuel source. Until next time, I'm Nick Bakay reminding you: The numbers never lie.
