Gatorade launched its brilliant "Be Like Mike" advertising campaign 12 years ago, and it had millions of Americans singing the same tune. We wanted Michael Jordan's good looks, his guaranteed contract, his sick vertical leap.
But as MJ spends another new day as a 40-something, two other famous people -- who happen to share Jordan's first name -- are going toe-to-toe for the undisputed title of "Biggest Nut Job in Pop Culture."
We're talking about Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson. While these celebrities couldn't be further opposites on the exterior, their careers have shared a common pattern over the past 20 years. Both Tyson and Jackson reached the pinnacle of their popularity in the '80s, plummeted into dire times in the '90s, and have spent the first couple years of the new millennium as undeniable weirdos.
Of course, both have had their share of controversy, too. Tyson is on the verge of snapping like a Slim Jim during every fight and interview. Meanwhile, the word "allegedly" hangs over Jackson's head like an umbrella on a sunny day.
These days, the catchy chorus of "Be Like Mike" should carry a parental warning.
So which one deserves the title of "Biggest Nut Job in Pop Culture". Check out the list below and cast your vote in the poll at right.
JACKO VS. IRON MIKE |
Category |
| Michael Jackson
|
| Mike Tyson
|
Nickname |
|
"King of Pop" |
|
"King of Pain" |
Trademark move |
|
Moonwalk |
|
Profanity-laced tantrums |
Net worth |
|
Depends on who you ask |
|
Ask Robin Givens |
Career highlight |
|
"Thriller" |
|
"Thrilling 91-second thumping of Michael Spinks" |
How they describe themselves |
|
"I'm Peter Pan" |
|
"I'm Sonny Liston" |
Comfort food |
|
Snow cones |
|
Ears |
Was teased as a child for ... |
|
Having a huge nose |
|
Talking like Cindy Brady |
Is teased as an adult for ... |
|
Acting like a child |
|
Are you crazy!?! We're not teasing Mike. |
Current foe |
|
Martin Bashir |
|
The flu (according to his promoter) |
Likes to throw |
|
Water balloons |
|
Right hooks |
Facial adjustments |
|
Nose hanging by a thread |
|
African tribal tattoo |
What he has in common with normal people |
|
Lies about how much money he has |
|
Hasn't been to the gym in a while
|
What he's looking forward to |
|
Fox airing "Michael Jackson Take 2: The Interview They Wouldn't Show You." |
|
Fox airing "Michael Jackson Take 2: The Interview They Wouldn't Show You." Aren't we all? |
Favorite pet |
|
12-year-old Gavin |
|
Those damn pigeons |
Memphis connection |
|
Married Elvis Presley's daughter |
|
Only place that lets him box |
Reckless behavior |
|
Playing "Dangle Doddle Dandy" over hotel balconies |
|
Live press conferences |
What they wish they could borrow from each other |
|
Tyson's enviable falsetto |
|
Prince Michael II's chiffon scarf to cover up the new ink |
Favorite activity with children |
|
Wants to share his bed with 'em |
|
Wants to eat 'em |
Worst beating |
|
From Dad after messing up dance routine |
|
(Tie) Buster Douglas, Evander Holyfield, Lennox Lewis |
Authority figure who didn't do quite enough |
|
Liz Taylor |
|
Cus D'Amato |
Las Vegas craving |
|
Bizarro shopping sprees |
|
The Nevada State Athletic Commission to reconsider |
Startling transformation |
|
From black man to white hermaphrodite |
|
From the youngest heavyweight champ to America's 2nd-most beloved cannibal |
It's a shame that |
|
Macauley Culkin's too old now |
|
Tonya Harding's pro debut will be delayed |
Career low point |
|
Stay tuned |
|
Ditto |
Gino Bona continually strives for rock bottom on his "Wink & The Gun" site, which can be reached at www.winkandthegun.com. E-mail him at gino@winkandthegun.com.