The last thing you want to do this summer is be caught spouting last spring's wisdom when talking about what's hot this season. Whether you are having the casual conversation at the office, arguing in the bar's outdoor beer garden or trying to impress that hottie at the beach party, keep in mind Page 2's guidelines for what's in and what's passe for Summer 2003:

WHAT'S HOT, WHAT'S NOT FOR SUMMER
Category	Hot	Not Hot
Stars on the beach	Women surfers	Christina Aguilera
Steroid issue	The Hulk	MLB
Must-listen CD	Outkast	Ja Rule
Retro jerseys as...	Skirt (for her)	Shirt (for him)
Angels	Charlie's	Anaheim
Movie	American Wedding	Anything 'Idol'
Controversial	Home Run Derby	Sammy Sosa
Beach read	"Moneyball"	Yankees reminiscing
Look	Superhero logos	Matrix
Golf strength	Light drive, big putt	Big drive, light putt
Dating	'Friendster'	Any ol' online
Toast of England	Andy Roddick	David Beckham
Hat	Your sponsor	Trucker
Drink	Gotta see through it	Colorful and fruity
Jersey	College	NBA/ABA
Horse	Seabiscuit	Funny Cide
Soccer ticket	Man. U.	MLS
Must-see pitcher	Dontrelle Willis	Roger Clemens
NBA owner	Michael Jordan	The Maloofs
ACC over/under	13 teams	10 teams
QB battle	Bears (Stewart/Grossman)	Dolphins (Griese/Fiedler)
Hoops ticket	LeBron's Summer League	USA's Olympic Qualifier
NBA draft headline	"Foreign Invasion!"	"College Kids Rule!"
Ironic Hot Seat	Joe Torre	Art Howe
Reality TV	"Street" hoops	Judging hotness
Boxing drumbeat	Lewis-Jones	Foreman-Anyone
MLB Bandwagon	Blue Jays	A's
NBA Bandwagon	Cavs	Nuggets
Coach scandal	Prep recruiting	Pools/Parties
NHL storyline	Lemieux retiring?	Jiggy dominating
Needs more college FB hype	Miami's Frank Gore	Ohio St's Mo Clarett
"Beautiful" PG	Jason Kidd	Tony Parker
Ride	Drop-top Benz	Hummer
Indie sports flick	'Shaolin Soccer'	'Bend It Like Beckham'
Home movies	Martha Stewart	Michael Jackson
Kicks	Indoor-soccer	Hoops retro
Blast it	Beyonce "Crazy in Love"	Ruben "Flying Without Wings"

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "Daily Quickie" commentary appears every weekday morning.