Forget Hollywood hipsters and big-star egomaniacs. Forget recluses and moody, sullen guys trying to be mysterious and only coming off cold. Give us regular folks, give us straight shooters. Give us Drew Carey. He's Page 2 people.

	"The Drew Carey Show" airs at 8 p.m. ET as part of ABC's new Monday night lineup.

How do we know? The usual Page 2 litmus test, of course: 10 Burning Questions. Our Mary Buckheit brings home the results.

(Editor's note: This interview took place before the Dwayne Rudd helmet-throwing incident Sunday. Good thing, too -- we figure it's likely Drew blew a gasket watching the end of the Browns' loss to the Chiefs, which might have made him unable to talk to Mary at all.)

1. Your Cleveland Browns roots are deep. Tell me, with Tim Couch out the first few weeks, who are you expecting to step up?

Drew Carey: I'm counting on our first two opponents, Kansas City and Cincinnati. C'mon! Even if Tim is out for two weeks, we'll be OK. The Chiefs and the Bengals ... it's like back-to-back bye weeks! They might as well let Tim rest.

2. What is game day like in the Carey house?

Carey: I don't do anything. In L.A., the games start at, like, 10 a.m., so I just roll over, flip the game on and lay there -- watch the whole thing in my pajamas and sleep during halftime.

3. Have you ever done anything crazy at a Browns game? Have you snuck in, dressed up for the Dawg Pound, or painted your face?

	Like most Browns fans, Carey was hiding his face after "The Drive."

Carey: I was never a face painter, 'cause you don't want to go out like that, trying to meet girls with your face all painted.

Nope, chicks don't dig face paint.

Carey: Never. I used to cry when we lost. "The Drive" game ... oh yeah, that put me in tears. I cried after that alright. I don't do that anymore though.

Oh, a sensitive guy, eh? Chicks are all over that.

Carey: Yup.

4. You are such a softee! You're sincere, you're jolly, you cry. Are you sure you were a Marine?!

Carey: Yup, I was a Marine Reserve.

What's left of that -- just the glasses and a flattop? Do you still get up for early morning calisthenics?

Carey: Nah, I definitely don't do any morning P.T. anymore. I wish I could grow my hair. My big goal was to grow my hair down to my butt when I got out of there, but I went and blew it by getting the show.

Where is the Marine in you now? Lost and gone forever?

Carey: I took some of that with me. The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job. All the extra hours I put into the show, I don't really mind. I think that attitude comes from my Marine days.

You've done the USO tour, entertaining troops in Afghanistan. That must have been amazing. Give me a highlight from that.

Carey: Oh, there were tons of highlights. It was such a thrill to go over there. I think the best part was just shaking everybody's hand and making contact with people. It was very personal, I liked that. Just to be able to tell a guy -- man or woman -- that you appreciate what they are doing. ... It's really heartwarming and humbling to be able to do something for these guys who are part of such a huge service to us. It was really a chilling experience all around. I got to see all these countries -- Saudi Arabia, Ahmad, Kuwait -- no way would I ever get to see those places if I didn't do something like this. And, I got to ride in the Blackhawk helicopter.

5. Tell us a little about your athletic career. Any highlights there?

Carey: I have none -- well, I bowled a 250 once. That's the highlight of my athletic career. Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test. That was a highlight, too.

If you could be any athlete at any time, who would you choose?

Carey: Probably Jim Brown. He was great, man. Nobody could touch him.

6. You love the Browns, therefore, you hate the Steelers. We've heard that when you were a kid, you and your buddies hated Pittsburgh so much that you used to root for their guys to get hurt. Is that true?

	Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw drew the ire of the young Carey.

Carey: Oh yeah! I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet. We were at a Steelers-Browns game in 1976. There I was, down on the field, yelling, "Kill Bradshaw!" Chanting it with half the crowd -- "Kill Bradshaw, kill Bradshaw!" Sure enough, in the third quarter, Joe "Turkey" Jones picked him up, turned him upside down and broke his collarbone. I think Joe "Turkey" Jones must have heard me yelling, and took me up on it.

Have you been able to embrace the "new Browns"?

Carey: I like 'em ... but its not the same. I mean, those years that we had off, I definitely lost touch with football. I stopped following it. I didn't know the league or the teams and who was good, which players to watch. I found other things to do on Sunday. Then, when they came back, and I started reading again, there were new names and teams, and a lot had changed for me. There was a lot to get used to. But, of course, I still root for the Browns. I like these guys. But I don't cry over them anymore.

A couple years back you wrote a piece for Page 2 about how much you hate Art Modell. Has that eased up at all?

Carey: Nope.

You root against the Ravens?

Carey: Absolutely. I will always hate the Ravens. Always. Of course, we hate Pittsburgh in Cleveland, but that's healthy. Believe it or not, I think we hate the Ravens more.

So you're still just as rabid in your old age, huh, Drew?

Carey: Oh yeah, this is going to be, like, a blood season. Really. Everyone just hates each other so much. It's amazing. God, we hate Baltimore. Actually, I hate every other team in our division this year, too. Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati -- there's not one good club. I can't think of one that I'm even close to liking!

7. Did you know that you are one of the most imitated personalities on Halloween?

Carey: Isn't it crazy. For Halloween, you need a pair of glasses and you gotta be fat, that's it! It's easy, it's cheap, that's all there is to it.

What's the craziest thing one of your fans has ever done for you?

Carey: My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

Your fans are incredibly loyal, they completely embrace you and your character. What is the appeal of Drew Carey?

Carey: I'm not sure. I think it's just because I'm kind of an honest, everyday guy. I'm not putting on an act really. Yeah, the show is a made up show, but I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. I'm down to earth, people sense that and they appreciate it.

	Carey credits his wealth and fame for helping to attract the hotties.

You're quite the ladies' man, too. You've been spotted with a lot of hotties. What is your appeal to women?

Carey: I have no idea. I think it's the money -- the money and the fame, to tell you the truth. It must be. Really, honestly I have no idea.

8. Which superpower would you want most -- the ability to fly, the strength of 100 men or the ability to turn invisible?

Carey: Invisible. I'd sneak into some girls' team locker room or something.

Hypothetically, which girls' locker room would you sneak into? What's your favorite female sport?

Carey: Cheerleading. Maybe the Dallas Cheerleaders locker room.

Speaking of invisible, you've really slimmed down. Have you been working out?

Carey: Nah, I've gained a bunch back. I had been working out, running, you name it, but a lot's back on.

We hear you changed your diet and lifestyle since your heart surgery. What do you miss?

Carey: Nothing. Seriously, it feels so good to be eating right and exercising. I have all this energy. I'm feelin' alert, and awake and healthy. I sleep well at night. When you get in that junk food trap, you feel so tired all the time. You eat crap, you feel tired, you drink a soda, that wears off, sugar, then you crash -- it's a cycle. The way I feel when I'm exercising and eating right is well worth the tradeoff.

9. Last year "Everybody Loves Raymond" had an opening sequence that featured a tackle-football montage of their cast members. Could you guys take the cast of "Raymond" in a game of pick-up football?

	Carey wouldn't mind trading places with this Drew for a day.

Carey: Hell, yeah. Are you kidding? They have two old people on their show, we'd kick their butts.

Name one TV cast that you wouldn't want to face in a pick-up football game?

Carey: We could take anyone! Well, maybe not "Baywatch." Those folks are all pretty athletic.

10. Drew Brees, Drew Bledsoe, Drew Henson, Nancy Drew, Dr. Drew, Drew Barrymore ... if you could be any Drew for a day, who would you be?

Carey: Any Drew?! Maybe Drew Pearson, the old wide receiver. Nah, probably just Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe playing against the Browns and hurling interceptions.

If you could be the commissioner of the NFL for a day, and make any changes you wanted, what would you do?

Carey: Hmm, I don't know, nothing really, football's OK. If I were the commissioner of baseball, now that's another story ...