Yes, folks, it's that icky time of year when every sports "journalism" organization looking for a cheap jolt of publicity names its Sportsman of the Year. Don't get us wrong -- we at Page 2 have got nothing against cheap jolts of publicity. It's just that ... well, we gotta be us.

Which is why we are offering up our slate for the first Page 2 Unsportsman of the Year. As ever, we want your help ... we need your help. So vote in the poll on the right, then make your reservations for the Page 2 Unsportsman of the Year Dinner and Annual Ball, which will be held at a Friendly's restaurant in beautiful downtown Bristol, Conn., on Christmas Day. (For those rightly worried about their safety, surrounded by the scoundrels below, we can assure you that all the cutlery will be plastic ... and no knives. Of any kind.)

And now, may we have the envelopes, please ...

	The Almontes Because Felipe Almonte encouraged his son, Danny, to lie about his age so he could beat up on kids two years younger in Williamsport, Pa. Because they offered a forged birth certificate as proof of Danny's age when they should have offered his driver's license, voter registration and AARP discount card. Because Danny went along with it when he knew better. Because the only Bronx Bomber older than Danny was Paul O'Neill. Because after their team inspired a depressed neighborhood, they became Little League's Bad News Bearers.
	Carl Everett and Dan Duquette Because they surpassed even Boston's lofty bar for infighting and petty bickering, while destroying team unity and any chance the Red Sox had for the playoffs. Because Everett had all the punctuality of a cable TV installer. Because he and Duquette undermined manager Jimmy Williams's authority until the Duke finally canned Jimy on Aug. 16 when the team was 12 games above .500 and 5½ games out of first place. Because Duquette personally added about 1.5 percent to the nation's unemployment rate. Because Boston fans can only hope that Everett's trade to Texas will be the last move Duquette will ever be in position to make.
	Terry Glenn Because he missed an NFL-mandated drug test and received a four-game suspension. Because his response to a season-long suspension was the same tired staple of modern-day sports -- he hired a lawyer and filed suit. Because he spent more time in court than on the field this season. Because at least Randy Moss actually plays from time to time.
	Vince McMahon Because he thought the one thing American sports needed was another football league that was even more violent, sexist and offensive than the NFL. Because he created the XFL not out of a love of sports but out of NBC's need for prime-time weekend programming. Because he somehow slithered underneath even his limbo bar of taste. Because after asking us to watch and pay money for that drivel, We Hate You, Vince.
	Randy Moss Because as the country entered deeper into a recession that has put more than a million workers out of a job, Moss had the gall to say that he plays when he feels like playing. Because he said it again, even when given the opportunity to complain that his comments might have been taken out of context. Because he said it while his teammates were struggling through a losing season that probably will keep them out of the playoffs for just the second time in a decade. Because he said it after he signed a $75 million contract extension that included an $18 million signing bonus.
	Bud Selig Because just 48 hours after one of the most exciting World Series in recent memory, he announced he was going to murder the Twins and the Expos. Because after a delicious, historic season that gave fans Ichiro, the Barry Bonds home run chase, the Mariners' 116 wins, Rickey Henderon's records and the bittersweet retirements of Cal Ripken Jr., Tony Gwynn and Mark McGwire, he told millions of fans to go to hell. Because after declaring that baseball was a social institution that needed to act with care and responsibility after Sept. 11, he treated it like a financial institution by threatening to rip the heart out of several communities, because they weren't willing to lavish taxpayer money on new stadiums. Because after a superb season that generated $3.5 billion in revenue for the major leagues, he testified before Congress that owners had lost $500 million. Because he secured a three-year contract extension for himself, when he should have been settling a contract with the union. Because his leadership in 2001 makes fans long for the glory days of Bowie Kuhn.
	Rasheed Wallace Because he shattered his own record for technical fouls in a season with 40. Because he symbolized the NBA's highest-paid and most dysfunctional team, which disintegrated when the playoffs began. Because he apparently learned nothing from his anger management session with Bobby Knight.