| | | Somebody said on the radio the other day that they heard Tiger Woods should speak out more.
|  | | Tiger Woods changed how we spend our weekends. Isn't that enough? |
Seems like he speaks out plenty already. Seems like he shouts.
We heard him curse last Saturday, didn't we? Yeah, we dug that little hiccup. The fact we were even watching non-major golf on a perfectly good summer Saturday afternoon is what we should have been noticing.
What world was this? In an older world, that older world where Tiger Woods hadn't already spoken out, we wouldn't have heard him curse, because we would've been out doing what we, as adult American idiots, once did on Saturday afternoons. Sail. Crash a car. Go to a baseball game. Tie one on at a barbeque. Go to a Rave. Overcharge somebody. Sleep. Tuck away Chilean sea bass.
But no. We all watch TV on Saturday afternoons now. Golf.
I mean, think of it. Can you imagine?! Tiger Woods changed the viewing habits, sporting habits, maybe thinking habits of a society. Nobody will ever do that again in quite the same way. Tiger brought us all to golf. If he took all the mystery out of golf, can light-speed travel really be that far behind?
Tiger Woods opened up our heads. He did his speaking right there.
There he was, tooling along at the Advil Western Open, 10 shots back of Davis Love III and Scott Hoch, DL and Hoch-e-mon. Tiger was that far behind mostly because his concentration was lacking, because this wasn't one of the four majors. Unless it's a major, or some other tournament he feels like he wants as a skin on the wall, Tiger is bored by it, by now.
|
|
Tiger Woods changed the viewing habits, sporting habits, maybe thinking habits of a society. Nobody will ever do that again in quite the same way. Tiger brought us all to golf. If he took all the mystery out of golf, can light-speed travel really be that far behind? |
|
|
|
He needs to come from 10 down to have something to do. He's the cat playing with the mice. Go ahead. Run. Run as fast you can. There is no one there to challenge him yet, really. Els, Duval, Phil, all them dudes? Them dudes know, deep down. One at a time, they got no chance.
Sure, there are 150 dudes at the British Open, give or take, and as a mob, they can charge Tiger Woods. But one at a time? Well, ain't many volunteers for that duty. Now the other golfers speak out and say that there are, that they'd love to be the one to take the British Open in a playoff with Tiger Woods -- but does anybody do anything about it? No. Well, they haven't, as yet. Bob May took Tiger Woods to a playoff in a major, the 2000 PGA, shot 31 on the back nine, and lost.
He was treated like he was Napoleon.
These other golf tournaments -- God has already blessed them when Tiger shows up and plays, to show his admiration or respect for Byron Nelson's golf tournament, or Arnold Palmer's golf tournament. All Tiger has to do is show up, basically, for the tournament to succeed.
And for him to lose gives the other players a chance to win for a change. Tiger had done his homage to the Western Open by winning it twice. Jack Nicklaus's Memorial tournament? Tiger has won that the last three times they held it. Even Jack has taken to shaking his head about it, because to be asked to speak out is one thing, to have something to say that can explain things, that's quite another. Jack Nicklaus might think Tiger has spoken out enough already.
It's a well-known and spoken-of fact -- Tiger Woods is in it to win it, for the long haul, and when you're 25 years old, the long haul is going to bury a lot of folks. The long haul, 19 major titles won, besting Jack Nicklaus' mark, in that context, what's the significance of winning an Advil Western Open when you've already won it twice? The real thing he wants is to get the 19 majors won, minimum (or 21 majors won, if you're counting the U..S. Amateur, which you don't want to do, if you're hoping to delay Tiger's outspoken quest to break Nicklaus's otherwise unassailable mark of 18 majors won, plus 2 U.S. Amateurs).
|  | | So, Tiger Woods didn't win the Western Open. If it ain't a major, then Tiger's a bit bored by it all. |
It is Jack Nicklaus who has already spoken out, really, and in a language that only he and Tiger Woods understand. Tiger is busy replying, and it is not the sort of answer that can be given over the weekend. Tiger is good at replying, already has, what, six majors? Still only a third of the way home, and boys six, nine, 12, 14 years old are watching him, thinking not as older men think, "I can't beat him," but as boys think, "That's good. I like that. I can do that. I can do that one day. In fact, I can do better than that."
Two weekends before the British Open, the next tournament that matters, Tiger didn't speak out -- nor will history hold it against him because he didn't. The Advil Western Open isn't a major, and majors are the reason he plays golf, pro, on a tour; he doesn't need a tour to play golf -- there's oilmen and sheiks aplenty that'll line up from here till Doomsday and pay good money to play with him.
Besides, he has already made enough to buy Saturn -- planet and car line. He was just tuning up for the British Open, to be held in Britain, at Royal Lytham and St. Anne's. And truth be told, it could be played anywhere; anyplace that handicaps Tiger Woods would handicap another golfer even more. Lytham and Annie's it is, then; saddle up, boys, we're riding with El Tigre, to right some wrongs.
We're going to watch some golf get played. Or, are we going to watch somebody speaking out? That's-C-Span. Not a very popular channel, outside Congress.
What is it people mean when they say Tiger Woods should speak out? Speaking out is work, a full-time job. Tiger should speak out against what. Injustice? That would mean he'd never have time to play another round of golf, not if he had to speak out against all the injustice in the world. And no one would listen to him, if he didn't play golf. His game would fall into disrepair. Saturday afternoons would be ours to kill again. And Injustice would still be sitting there, laughing at us all.
For now, let the people feel like Tiger Woods speaks out for them when he swings. A smaller gallery was at the Red Sea than the one that will be following Tiger Woods at the British Open. They will want to know whether he is going to speak out with a round of 60, which they could then say they saw.
|
|
What is it people mean when they say Tiger Woods should speak out? Speaking out is work, a full-time job. Tiger should speak out against what. Injustice? That would mean he'd never have time to play another round of golf, not if he had to speak out against all the injustice in the world. And no one would listen to him, if he didn't play golf. |
|
|
|
Would they rather hear Tiger speak out on the conduct of a California congressmen named Condit, since he's from that state? Commenting on the conduct of Congressmen is a safe way to go indeed, when speaking out. Now. Would people pay to see it? Tiger speaking out about a Congressman, I mean? No. No in both cases, actually.
Scott Hoch and Davis Love shot 64 and 66 respectively on the last day of the Ad-vil-Wes-tern-O-pen, which is also known as The Tournament That Whets The Appetite of Tiger for British Opens.
Hoch-e-mon won the Western. He's 45. Tiger's 25. Seems like he has been 25 for three or four years, doesn't it? Young, with eternal life. The young people, he speaks to them, like it says in the commercial. I am Tiger Woods. He's theirs. Might not be sentimental to baby boomers -- but clearly, it's the way to bet.
Hoch, by his own admission, has as much chance of playing well at the British Open, as he does of playing well in the Sea of Tranquility on the moon. We'll tune in anyway. And not to see if Tiger Woods speaks out on Hoch's form.
|  | | Tiger Woods spoke out last weekend ... and people didn't really like what they heard. |
Tiger spoke out the day before Hoch-e-mon won the Advil Western Open. Tiger said, "Gawdawfulit you!" speaking to himself, of himself, but not by himself. Oh, all right, it was some profanity, but of so mild a variety it hardly counts.
No real heft to his profanity at all, not to me. Dog said it wasn't cursing, if less than six syllables.
Tiger Woods uttered this mild profanity after hitting what he considered to be a bad shot. The shot hit the green in regulation, but it was not close enough to the hole for Tiger. Had we hit such a shot, we would've been calling Guinness -- records-keepers and brewery.
No TV commentators mentioned Tiger's speaking out this way. Know why? They'd all done it themselves on a golf course. The truth dawned on them, too. Just like the young, with eternal life, they are. ... Tiger, too.
Should Tiger Woods speak out? Any more speaking out, people would begin to have coronaries.
I like to watch Tiger Woods play golf, even though I am not guilty of golf myself. Maybe you know the feeling. Take away Tiger Woods, and it seems to be mostly a walking contest, bracketed by a sense of all-consuming futility and the need for a nap.
Wasn't so when Nicklaus was in his prime. You didn't have to be guilty of golf to know when a man is in control of his element. It is always interesting, watching what a driven, skilled man can achieve with the tools of his trade. Most people would need a gun to control their element. Even a gun wouldn't help them in golf, not unless they were going to kill themselves with it.
|
|
Tiger Woods uttered this mild profanity after hitting what he considered to be a bad shot. The shot hit the green in regulation, but it was not close enough to the hole for Tiger. Had we hit such a shot, we would've been calling Guinness -- records-keepers and brewery. |
|
|
|
Really though, I wouldn't know, because I am not guilty of golf. Anybody who has ever seen what could loosely be described as my swing could tell you that. The only thing worse than my swing is my grip. If you ever see me out golfing -- run. Don't ask. Run.
It's not just a question of maybe getting hit by a golf ball; if you stand anywhere within 360 degrees of my swing, it's only a matter of time before you get hit by the golf ball. But there's also a good chance that the golf club will be slung, inadvertently, and hit you first.
So why do I watch Tiger? One reason is to see the gallery lined up along his proposed shot line when he's in trouble, like birds along a telescope barrel; they figure this is the best seat and safest place in the house.
I don't really know why I watch. I watch, because every once in a while he'll do something that explains to me why I watch. You?
I don't watch to see if he'll speak out. He's not shy, though.
Tiger Woods speaks out plenty about the game and how he expects to play it. When Nicklaus said it, it was realistic. But when Tiger Woods says it ... it becomes realistic, in a truly revelatory way, and that is why not only will I watch Tiger, but so will Dog -- and Dogster, he ain't no golfer at all. I mean Dog, he makes me look like a real golf man. Dog makes Mike Tyson look like a golf man. And Dog watches Tiger Woods!
|  | | Woods is making a statement right now to Jack Nicklaus. |
I got one or two other friends, too, you know; actually I got some good acquaintances, but I know them all well enough to know some of what they can do when they are pressed. My old friend Mulray, played high school and college ball with him, and he played a while in the NFL, and what is he doing now but playing golf all the time? Always trying to get me out there, you know, working on your ego about it, saying, "You should be good at this," and then looking at you all expectant and innocent. But I tell old Mulray, "If the price of me hitting it straight is having a swing as ugly as yours, then I'd just as soon not."
Some of my other golfing acquaintances are really good golf writers. Used to be, four of the five best golf writers on the whole planet Eartth worked with me over at the Illy. One of them was a good friend. He took me out once. I swung. He said, "Not bad." Didn't take any chances, no sir, didn't swing for him again. Figured I was ahead of the game and would stay there and the only way to do that was not to swing again.
No point in me lying about it. As Tiger Woods told Callahan in Golf Digest recently, "If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't do anything. Dad taught me that from the get-go."
Remember, the apple never falls too far from the tree. One day, sooner or later, since Tiger Woods is Earl Woods' son, he'll be speaking out so much that the people who asked him will be sorry they did.
According to Tiger, honesty is good policy, eh? OK then. If you were to ask me a question about golf, I have watched my friends commit it for long enough to be able to speak out about the walking atrocity, and you probably wouldn't know the difference between me and the average golf writer. But if I really need to know something about golf, I'll first call in one of my four acquaintances who used to work with me at the Illy; even though three of them now work with Callahan at GD mag now. (At the Illy, GD magazine's now known as GFD magazine.) At the Illy, or at GD, or at ESPN, or at wherever it is you work, they all watch Tiger Woods.
|
|
He doesn't need a tour to play golf -- there's oilmen and sheiks aplenty that'll line up from here till Doomsday and pay good money to play with him. Besides, he has already made enough to buy Saturn -- planet and car line. |
|
|
|
I watch Tiger Woods, and I don't watch to see how well he's speaking that week. If he's speaking well, I'll take it; it's always refreshing to hear a man who calls himself an athlete be able to express himself.
We all watch Tiger Woods. Because history teaches us that you should always watch out for not what a man says, but what he does.
Never was it more true of a man than of Tiger Woods.
Tiger can sit up and say how he hit a shot all day long. Lotta good that'll do you, far as emulating it goes. Tiger can also tell you how to work on your backhand. Or a V-8 engine. He can tell you which way to bet. He could say he has the meaning of life in his hands. Maybe he does. But it's expressed through his craft.
As an old man in Chi-town once wrote on another hand-eye sport, "All good things come by grace, and grace comes by art, and art does not come easy." You wouldn't go to Thomas Edison, and ask him if he can think of a way to make a room go dark, would you?
|  | | Remember the apple never falls too far from the tree. |
When Tiger Woods makes history, he'll do it by actions, not words. Until Tiger gets a 19th major. Until then, there's game to change. Power to play. A shot to shape. An upper body to bring into play. A will to win. Make people know his name. Make people say it.
Tiger Woods? Sandy Lyle once said, "I've never played there." People laughed. Tiger has spoken out since. We'll see how Tiger speaks out at the British Open next week. And next year. And the year after that.
Later on, after all the baby boomers who want him to speak out are long buried, in some distant future time, if Eldrick "Tiger" Woods wants to run for public office, if he wants to be a Congressman from California, or President of the U.S., that'll be plenty of time to speak out on his personal conduct and issues of the day.
But when that day comes, if it does, he'll look back and call these the good old days, when all he had to do was win the British Open ... the PGA ... the Masters ... the U.S. Open ... again ... and again ... and again.
Anybody can speak out on "the issues."
But only Tiger Woods brought "the issues," and all of us, to golf.
Ralph Wiley spent nine years at Sports Illustrated and wrote 28 cover stories on celebrity athletes. He is the author of several books, including "Best Seat in the House," "Born to Play: The Eric Davis Story," and "Serenity, A Boxing Memoir."
|
|
|
