WASHINGTON -- As a public service during one of the most unpredictable drafts in memory, we bring you a blow-by-blow account of one intrepid reporter's journey into the belly of the beast known as the 1999 NBA draft.

5:02 p.m. ET -- Arrive at MCI Center from the media hotel, along with a "busload" of four other journalists. My first, and certainly not last, glimpse of NBA excess.

	David Stern seems to enjoy his first visit to Wally (Szczerbiak) world.

5:03 -- Ask for directions to media room. As journalists, you'd think we'd be able to find our way around a building that is essentially a circle. But no, a little assistance from event staff is necessary to maneuver through the labyrinthine underbelly of the MCI Center. One elevator ride later, we're on the Event Floor. What happened to the first floor actually being called the first floor?

5:17 -- Call the office, stopping to ponder if my AT&T calling card will work in the MCI Center. Thank God for 800 numbers.

5:19 -- Get the bright idea to write this.

5:25 -- Time for food. But I make the cardinal error of assuming the red substance next to the meatballs is marinara sauce. Instead, I show my West Coast bias by failing to recognize crab cakes in the chafing dish next to the meatballs. Word of warning: Cocktail sauce and parmesan cheese aren't a great taste when mixed together.

5:45 -- Mistake the NBA fan jam 3-point shootout as a last-minute workout by Lamar Odom.

5:58 -- Get lost ... again. The elevators in the MCI Center move with the speed of Arvydas Sabonis after his fourth bowl of borscht. Opting for the stairs, I wander down to the main concourse (Level 1) rather than the Event Floor (Level E). Stupid me. But I'm making good time, so I continue...

6:02 -- Discover Wizards merchandisers are living in the past. Alongside the Juwan Howard and Rod Strickland jerseys hangs a No. 4, Chris Webber. Should I ask if they have a Mel Turpin jersey in the back?

6:05 -- Find my way back to the Event Floor. Fans are starting to trickle into the arena, but I don't know why since the draft doesn't start until 7:30. Ambience only goes so far if you have to pay for your own food.

6:10 -- First David Falk sighting. In the city of Mulder and Scully, my conspiracy sense kicks in. I think he's an android.

6:12 -- In-house monitors elect to show year-by-year NBA highlights rather than the 1999 "Best of the Wizards" tape. After all, they do have more than an hour to fill.

6:17 -- Rick Majerus and the rest of the TNT in-arena team disappear from their perch above the draft floor. Buffet attendees beware.

6:34 -- Killing time, I peruse the media regulations set up by the NBA. Item 6: "Highlights of the NBA Draft may not be aired in the United States before the conclusion of TNT coverage of the NBA Draft in the United States." Damn. And I'm sure American viewers were really hoping to see that super-slo-mo replay of David Stern's handshake with Tim James and the corresponding analysis (too firm? not enough wrist action?) before they went to bed Wednesday.

6:42 -- The TNT crew (including Majerus in a tie!) take their spots back on the lofted stage to the right of the 55-foot-high draft board. Majerus' shirt appears absent of any food stains, implying that he did not make the meatball-cocktail sauce mistake.

6:58 -- I spoke too soon. Wizards highlights flash on the eight screens scattered across the floor and suspended at mid-court. Fans boo.

7:00 -- In-house show begins with requisite boorish P.A. announcer and Fatboy Slim's "Praise You." Cut to clip of Stern announcing Washington's 1994 first-round pick, Juwan Howard. Louder boos.

7:04 -- First mention of a "war room" on TNT's broadcast. Really, other than fighting over pan or thin crust, what "war" goes on in these rooms?

7:19 -- Rev. Jesse Jackson meanders along press row. Amid the whirs and whistles of the organ, clapping of the dance team and ostentation of the draft stage, he remains above the chaos.

7:24 -- The month-long game of "Where's Lamar" finally ends as Lamar Odom shows up on the TNT screen, waiting in the Green Room. If he had any sense of the dramatic, he'd have shown up in a Waldoesque red-and-white striped tux.

7:31 -- Stern appears on stage, officially putting Chicago on the clock.

7:36 -- With 21.2 seconds left on the five-minute countdown, Stern steps to the podium and announces "With the first pick in the 1999 NBA draft, the Chicago Bulls select Elton Brand" ... to another chorus of boos. Those Dukies just aren't welcome in ACC country outside of Durham.

7:52 -- God is thanked for the first of many times by a draftee. Think The Almighty did better in His mock draft than the rest of us?

8:01 -- Steve Francis breaks the cliche parade of "hope to fit in" and "happy to be drafted" by saying he'll take off his Vancouver Grizzlies hat "the first chance I get" and how he'll have to "wait and see" if he sticks with Vancouver.

8:05 -- Continuing his frank discussion about his views on the NBA, Francis admits what every NBA executive hates to hear -- Francis stopped watching the NBA after Michael Jordan retired. And if the league wants the explosive Francis to be part of the wave of new NBA blood to win back fans, it won't help that he plays in Vancouver.

8:19 -- Odom can't catch a break. After suffering through every label from 'head case' to 'immature' to 'flake' before finally being picked No. 4 by the Clippers, Odom then has the microphone go out on him during his interview session. "It's always something," the Rhode Island star says with a smile.

8:30 -- Phoenix selects Shawn Marion at No. 9, the first major surprise of the draft.

8:43 -- Marion holds on to his title for all of 13 minutes, as Cleveland picks Duke's Trajan Langdon at No. 11 ... before higher-profile Dukies Corey Maggette and William Avery.

9:45 -- Everyone goes diving into their draft books to figure out who, exactly, Golden State's draft pick is. Turns out his name is Jeff Foster, but he sounds a lot like Todd Fuller to us.

10:19 -- Atlanta saves Jumaine Jones the embarrassment of being left in the Green Room until the second round, picking the Georgia forward at No. 27 -- and thankfully emptying the backstage area of players. No crying Rashard Lewis this year.

10:29 -- The first round comes to a merciful end when the Spurs pick Leon Smith.

10:33 -- Just to prove the MCI Center crowd is still awake, a close-up of agent David Falk is met with a chorus of boos.

10:39 -- The favorite words of any NBA fan -- "We have a trade to announce" -- are finally uttered at the podium. Of course, Rod Thorn could have done better than a Jeff Foster-from-Golden State-to-Indiana-for-Vonteego Cummings deal. Suddenly, Foster is sounding more and more like Scott Haskin.

11:05: While waiting to announce the 40th pick, Rod Thorn loses his composure when someone in the mostly empty MCI Center yells, "Rod, you owe me money." Ironically, it's Thorn who's usually on the collecting end as the arbiter of league fines.

11:42: Long after losing interest in the draft, the few remaining fans at the MCI Center hurl insults at each other across the arena.

11:49: The NBA's version of Mr. Irrelevant is announced. With the 58th pick, the Utah Jazz select Eddie Lucas from Virginia Tech. Lucas, a 6-6 forward, played two seasons at Navy before becoming a Hokie.

And on that note, the clock is off.