Tomb Raider vs. Mr. Raider |
Category |
Mr. Raider |
Tomb Raider |
Advantage |
Transformations |
A Hollywood team gone Oakland |
A video game gone Hollywood |
Tomb Raider |
Lips |
The size of Earth worms |
The size of the Earth |
Tomb Raider |
Action wear |
Kranky Kevlar sweatsuit |
A musty, busty T-shirt |
Tomb Raider |
Do they wear gaudy jewelry? |
Yes |
No! |
Mr. Raider |
Motto |
Just sue, baby |
Just pout, baby |
Tomb Raider |
Necklace Of Choice |
A simple strand of commissioner's ears |
Vial of Billy Bob's blood |
Mr. Raider |
Nemesis |
Pick 'em |
Sleeping demons |
Push |
Age |
Older than rope |
Old enough |
Tomb Raider |
Where they hide their guns |
Tucked into his ankle-high booties |
In her lips |
Tomb Raider |
Goals |
A commitment to excellence |
A commitment to a sequel |
Mr. Raider |
What they plunder |
Your local government |
Your Doritos |
Push! |
Think a tie is like |
Kissing his sister |
Kissing her brother |
Push. Nobody wins here, kids. |
Legacies they must live up to |
His own |
A digital sex symbol to computer geeks |
Tomb Raider |
Wiping the floor with |
The Chargers |
The box office hopes of "Moulin Rouge" |
Tomb Raider |
Punks |
Owners who vote against him |
Her fan base |
Mr. Raider |
Popularity is based on |
The vertical game |
The horizontal game |
Tomb Raider |
Distinguishing characteristics |
One simple eye patch |
Two ... well, you know |
Tomb Raider, in a squeaker |