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Two stars, one house, endless sitcom plots By Jim Caple Page 2 |
(News item: Charles Barkley says he plans to move in with Michael Jordan while the two train for a possible return to the NBA ...)
The Odd Couple [OPENING CREDITS SCROLL OVER SHOTS OF JORDAN AND BARKLEY LEAVING THEIR APARTMENT AND WALKING THE STREETS OF CHICAGO. CREDITS END WITH JORDAN LOOKING ON IN DISGUST AS BARKLEY SPITS ON A PEDESTRIAN.]
[OPENING CREDITS SCROLL OVER SCENES OF JORDAN AND BARKLEY RIDING A TWO-SEAT BIKE ALONG LAKE MICHIGAN, THEN FALLING OFF WHEN THEY ARE DISTRACTED BY OPRAH RUNNING BY.] VOICE OVER: Come and knock on our door! We've been waiting for you! Where the kisses are hers and hers are his, Three's Company, too! [EPISODE OPENS WITH THE SOUND OF SOMEONE POUNDING ON THE DOOR. BARKLEY RUSHES TO ANSWER IT AND IT'S MR. ROPER!] BARKLEY: Mr. Roper! What a surprise! Michael! It's Mr. Roper! We were just about to leave for practice. What can we do for you? MR. ROPER (eyeing him suspiciously): I want you two out of here.
[OPENING CREDITS SCROLL ACROSS SHOTS OF JORDAN, BARKLEY, PHIL JACKSON, SCOTTIE PIPPEN, STEVE KERR AND LUC LONGLEY DANCING AROUND FOUNTAIN OUTSIDE THE UNITED CENTER.] VOICE OVER: So no one told you life was gonna be this way (four claps). You're job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year ... [EPISODE OPENS ON JORDAN AND BARKLEY, SLUMPED ON COUCH IN THEIR APARTMENT, WATCHING TV.] BARKLEY: You know the only thing better than watching "Baywatch?" JORDAN: You mean other than hitting a jumper at the buzzer in Utah to cap your sixth world championship? BARKLEY (glaring): I was thinking more along the lines of watching it while drinking beer. JORDAN (suddenly leaping to his feet): Oh, my God! I just remembered! I'm supposed to get married in England today to my friend's sister even though my other friend knows another friend is secretly in love with me only she can't tell me because she's about to deliver triplets out of wedlock and none of us have jobs but we live in great big, spacious apartments and it's all incredibly awkward but funnny! BARKLEY: What? Again? [FADE TO COMMERCIAL.] Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com. Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories |
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