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Capt. Jimmy's Fun Page
By Jim Caple
Page 2

Hey, kids! Join in the fun of the NBA playoffs by playing "NBA-opoly!"

Just print off this gameboard and glue it to a newly resurfaced hardwood floor! Then cut the buttons off your mother's favorite sweater for tokens, grab some bills out of your dad's wallet for play money, steal the giant, fuzzy dice from your older brother's car, sit down with a brimming full glass of grape juice (no need to use a coaster) and you're ready for fun!

	Charles Barkley invites himself in as your housemate for a month! Pay $10,000 and lose three turns while buying potato chips and Hostess Ding Dongs in bulk at Costco.	Your child buys Allen Iverson's rap CD. Lose three turns and a week's sleep.
		David Stern fines you $25,000 for ripping the referees. Fork it over and lose two turns.
You're ejected for bringing a "Trade Bob Whitsitt" sign to a game. Lose two turns.	Ruben Patterson moves into your neighborhood. Lose six turns.	Shaquille O'Neal says he slept with your wife. Lose four turns demanding a retraction and an apology from the Lakers center (or an explanation from your spouse).
The Chinese government bars you from playing in the NBA until Shaq apologizes to Venus Williams. Lose three turns and a $2.6 million signing bonus.
David Stern fines you $50,000 for criticizing Sonics general manager Wally Walker. Fork it over and lose two turns.	The Supreme Court rules that medicinal marijuana is illegal. Lose your starting guard and three turns.	Your general manager secretly signs a double-secret, 10-year, $96 million contract with Radoslav Nesterovic. Lose five turns and three first-round draft picks.
		The Lakers sweep you in four. Lose five turns and Chris Webber to free agency.
Your team moves to Memphis. Start over.	David Stern fines you $100,000 for criticizing the time-keeper and banging your fist on the scorer's table. Fork it over and lose three turns.	You suffer a hernia lacing up your shoes at the gym. Put your second comeback on hold and lose two turns.

Click here to go on to part 2 of Capt. Jimmy's Fun Page.

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ALSO SEE:
Caple: Capt. Jimmy's Fun Page II

Caple: Capt. Jimmy's Fun Page III

Caple: Capt. Capt. Jimmy's Fun Page IV

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